Would you rather?

[Jubal]

Kermit. Green colour coordination!

Would you rather be hunted down for a 19th century style duel of honour by Winnie-the-Pooh, or by La-la from the teletubbies?

[The Seamstress]

The teletubby, I think. Because if I win, Pooh will be shot, and we can't have that.


Would you rather be an advisor for a progressive & friendly king, or a scholar in some monastery?

[Jubal]

Advisor: I am a scholar to some extent by nature, but I'm always someone who's pushing to see what that means for people and how I can help people with it so I think I couldn't turn down the advisory role.

Would you rather have a pirahna tank or a death laser installed in your basement?

[The Seamstress]

I guess it'll be the death laser. I'm too polite to use either for getting rid of unwanted guests, so the laser seems the more useful option, for cutting things, or burning trash, or something like that. Whereas the piranhas would need more maintenance and then they aren't even cute.


Would you rather have your head transformed into a pumpkin or a water melon?

[Jubal]

A water melon. It's green!

Would you rather try to fix a crack in a window or a crack in space-time, if whichever you don't try and fix will definitely be left unfixed for quite a while?

[The Seamstress]

It's green!

I should have guessed that by now...

Hm, space-time would probably be the more important & urgent one, if we assume that an unfixed space-time crack causes trouble in the timeline & could alter any course of events. And I could live with a cracked window for a while without major consequences.


Would you rather be friends with a humorous ghost or with an adventurous vampire?

[Jubal]

A humorous ghost wins this one. I'd rather laugh than get pulled into adventures that, notably, a vampire is probably pretty well equipped to survive on account of all their magic, and I am not because I am basically a slightly oversized hobbit.

Would you rather be placed under the military command of Napoleon or Hannibal?

[The Seamstress]

I'd prefer not to be placed under anyone's military command and I wouldn't survive long in any case, but I think I'll go with Hannibal. At least I'd get to see the Alps.


Would you rather live in a real fortress or in a (sufficiently large) blanket/pillow fort?

[Jubal]

A real fortress. I like blanket forts but I think permanently living with a very squishy unstable floor might be bad for my muscle problems, and I do not think the Giant Blanket Fort would do well in rainy and stormy weather. Also I want my own castle.

Would you rather own a novelty giant credit card that's the size of a large book and heavy to carry but always gives you a free 10EUR of credit to buy things with every week, or a tiny novelty teapot that holds about a shot glass worth of liquid?

[The Seamstress]

The giant credit card.


Would you rather change your name to "Branwell Bumble The Bearded Bard" or "Hercules Holbrook The Hatted Humanist"?

[Jubal]

I have a beard more of the time than I have a hat, so I think I'm becoming Branwell Bumble.

Would you rather be able to turn into a duck, or be able to "fly" but only to a maximum of 1m above the ground?

[The Seamstress]

Hm, as a duck I could fly and be a good swimmer, so: duck.


Would you rather start a strudel-baking business with your business partner being an emperor penguin or a draught horse? Both are fluent in English and have an MBA degree. In addition, the penguin speaks French and Spanish, whereas the draught horse has experience in farming.

[Jubal]

The penguin. Much easier for it to attend business meetings or take public transport, and it already looks like it's wearing a suit.


Would you rather fig jam or cherry jam?

[The Seamstress]

Cherry!


Would you rather dye your hair neon yellow or neon pink?

[Jubal]

Oh god that's a horrible choice. Neither! I would probably have a panic attack! I'm going to say neon pink, because I think I could probably get people to sponsor me for charity if I did something that out of character, and if I'm going to be miserable at least someone would benefit...


Would you rather buy a kitchen from Vance Miller, or sign up for a Hare Krishna cult based on the recommendations of a spambot from the internet?