Spoil a wish

[Jubal]

You get rain! Localised, immediately in your vicinity, and lasting forty days and forty nights as is traditional. Also it keeps raining indoors which is inconvenient.

I wish for energy

[The Seamstress]

You get energy. It is of mysterious deep space alien origin. Fortunately it doesn't come with health hazards but you permanently glow in the dark, preventing you from falling asleep.

I wish I didn't hate doing sports.

[Jubal]

You now love doing sports but are permanently tired from All Of The Sportsing.

I wish I knew what to do.

[The Seamstress]

I wish I knew what to do.

(Don't we all...)

You know what to do. For 0.035627887552 milliseconds, then you're immediately back to not knowing.

I wish the bunnies would learn how to use a vacuum cleaner and always clean up after themselves.

[Jubal]

The bunnies learn how to use a vacuum cleaner, and always clean up after themselves. And you. And everyone else, they are obsessively cleaning to the point where if you drop something on the floor it will be gone into the vacuum cleaner in seconds.

I wish I knew how to prioritise my work.

[The Seamstress]

You know how to prioritise your work, but only your work, resulting in your life becoming nothing but work.

I wish I knew what's going on.

[Jubal]

You know what's going on, everywhere, always, and the knowledge overload is impossible to sift through so you effectively know nothing because you can never find the information you need.

I wish my back didn't hurt.

[The Seamstress]

Your back doesn't hurt. This is achieved by your back being replaced by another front, making life very confusing.

I wish there would never be another heatwave ever.

[Jubal]

There is never another heatwave ever, everything has been cooled to absolute zero permanently leading to the instant heat death of the universe.

I wish bureaucrats would answer their emails.

[The Seamstress]

Bureaucrats answer their e-mails. It takes 20-30 business days, and their answer is completely useless.

I wish my flat would just eject all the clutter I don't need so I don't have to sort through and de-clutter everything myself.

[Jubal]

Your flat ejects all the clutter you don't need. Technically you don't need anything other than food and water. Your flat is now quite empty, and the buns are very grumpy.

I wish I had a tame pet badger.

[The Seamstress]

You have a tame pet badger! It keeps badgering you 24/7, which gets annoying at some point and keeps you from doing anything.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to buy chocolate.

[Jubal]

You hadn't forgotten to buy chocolate, you'd just never realised you ought to buy chocolate to begin with, so you didn't have the memory there to forget. But you still have no chocolate.

I wish I had more places in my flat to put books.

[The Seamstress]

You have more places in your flat to put books! Books are everywhere, in all the places! You can't even open the door to get into your flat now because it's full of books.

I wish for Universal Basic Income.

[Jubal]

You get Universal Basic Income of one euro cent per year for everyone worldwide. It does not change anything much.

I wish for rest.