Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Bureaucracy, probably.

When will the people be truly free?

[The Seamstress]

When they have all turned into shiny blobs floating through space, contemplating their higher level of existence (and sometimes playing tricks on starships).

Who is responsible for how snails look? I'd like to file a complaint.

[Jubal]

That would be Smimkins McWherble, 49th floor.

Why do I keep forgetting about my tea?

[The Seamstress]

It's the Curse of the Tea Ghoul.

What is sheep?

[Jubal]

fluf.

Why is sheep?

[The Seamstress]

Because we all need fluf.

Why do sheep come only in white-brown-black colour shades, why won't they start to grow other wool colours, like pink or yellow?

[Jubal]

The dye industry are... persuasive.

How do I unwobble my brain?

[The Seamstress]

I've no idea, unfortunately. Let me know if you find out how.

Where do I get some new executive function?

[Jubal]

The executive suite.

How does one access the executive suite?

[The Seamstress]

That's where things get complicated: You need executive function to go and find the executive suite.

Why do some things glow in the dark and others don't?

[Jubal]

Because some things aren't in the dark at all, for starters.

Why don't more people have elevenses?

[The Seamstress]

Capitalism.

How likely is it that a rabbit-shaped asteroid will collide with Mars?

[Jubal]

A million to one, and therefore 90% probable.


Why aren't lower-case letters known as Labouring Letters (as opposed to Capital Letters)?

[The Seamstress]

Because they're Tories.

What became of Eeyore after his career as the grumpy donkey in the Winnie-the-Pooh books came to an end?

[Jubal]

I'm admitting nothing, I'm just noting that nobody's even seen me and Eeyore in a room at the same time.


Whose idea were autoimmune diseases? I'd like a word.