Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

Scientists are debating it. Some are doing research on how to make waterproof cake, but their experiments haven't been very successful so far. Either the cake turned out to be submergeable, but tasted terrible, or just wasn't edible at all, or, if taste was prioritised, it got soaked and tasted terrible in the end, too. We can only hope that science one day will find a solution to that problem.

How do we make it socially acceptable to live burritoed in duvets? We could be warm and cosy wherever we go.

[Jubal]

Revolution! Which may be hard to achieve while we're all wrapped up in blankets, admittedly.

Why can't I have a glyptodon friend?

[The Seamstress]

They aren't around anymore, so you'd have to clone and resurrect them via Ancient DNA, and I'm not sure if that would be advisable: They might turn out to be highly intelligent, and then strive for world domination. (On the other hand, if I think about the state of the world right now, glyptodon overlords could actually be an improvement.)

Why do most chairs have four legs and not five or seven or ten?

[Jubal]

They are modelled on the NOBLE GLYPTODON which had four legs, making four legs the correct number of legs.

Why am I still awake?

[The Seamstress]

BRAIN MOLES

Why is snow white and not pink?

[Jubal]

Oh my god, you can't just ask snow why it's white


Why won't the brain moles eat the sad bits of my brain?

[The Seamstress]

BRAIN MOLES only eat the happy bits of brains. The sad ones don't taste as good, apparently.

Why can't cake solve all of the world's problems?

[Jubal]

Some things need to be left for tea to solve.

How is it 7:30pm already?

[The Seamstress]

BRAIN MOLES, it's the BRAIN MOLES!

What is never ever?

[Jubal]

According to the prophet Tay-tay, it was sung among the holy chants that "ever getting back together" was the answer to this fundamental question.

Why can't I go pick up parcels from the post office at 11pm?

[The Seamstress]

I'd like to know that, too. It's rather inconvenient.

Who invented tartan and was therefore the first person in history to wear it?

[Jubal]

Geoffrey of Monmouth.

If there are swan-necked lutes that are very long, why aren't there pig-necked lutes that are very short?