Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Truffles. The truffles are hidden, that's the point of the truffle pigs.


People who secretly do not identify as male, female, or any form of nonbinary: what's their hidden agender?

[Tusky]

It can only be communicated in human expressions. The closest digital approximation is     

Could the would you rather thread be combined with this thread? Like: grass or leaves. Which is the greener?

[The Seamstress]

Neither. Everyone knows that Jubal is the Greenest Of All Beings. (And I think it'd be better to keep the threads separate to prevent further confusion.)

Why has no one invented cough drops that actually taste good? A cough or sore throat is bad enough, we shouldn't have to put up with that foul tasting stuff.

[Jubal]

No one has invented such cough drops because no one is capable. ONLY BY THE POWER OF SEVEN COMBINED SHALL THE PROPHECY PRESCRIPTION BE FULFILLED.

Why aren't guanacos more fond of guano?

[The Seamstress]

Their name being similar doesn't mean they want to be associated with guano. They've been fighting that stereoype for decades, don't make it harder for them.


Where is time produced, can I order some more from the factory?

[Jubal]

No, we only accept hand-crafted artisanal time made by the Time Gknowmes here. You must seek their burrows on a glorious quest.


Why is my throat sore again?

[The Seamstress]

It's probably a curse. (Had any disagreements with magical beings lately?)


Why don't I have telepathic abilities?

[Jubal]

Had any disagreements with magical beings lately?

Not unless the journal I recently got rejected from is run by the fey, though that would explain them apparently having no sense of the normal passage of time.

Why don't I have telepathic abilities?

You're in the control group, and got homeopathic abilities instead.

Why can't I buy lemsips easily in Austria?

[The Seamstress]

Just blame it on Brexit. A lot of things can be blamed on Brexit, so this probably can too.

Why income tax return?

[Tusky]

Income tax was always going to return when we have cookies this good. How could it stay away?

I have thought of a brilliant way for spies to go undetected, instead of writing "espionage" they can put: "S.P.O. Nage". Then the baddies wont know what they are talking about when they send letters about their spy stuff. My question is this: What are spies?

[Jubal]

They're a sort of bird.

What are birds?

[The Seamstress]

Spies. Be careful, they know everything.

Why are birds?

[Tusky]

They're a sort of bird.

What are birds?

We just don't know.

What is the highest point on the ocean?

[Jubal]

Correct answer

The highest point on the ocean is just off the coast of Amsterdam where there's the most offshore weed smoke.

Why aren't owls capable of teleporting?

[The Seamstress]

They are, but no one's supposed to know that. They usually don't bother to reveal their secrets to foolish mortals.

Why am I a foolish mortal instead of some fancy immortal fairytale creature?