Author Topic: Fortunately, Unfortunately  (Read 29298 times)

Tusky

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #360 on: October 31, 2019, 02:17:41 PM »
Unfortunately they are a prized delicately due to their scarcity. Our aggressive export trade floods the market, causing the price to plummet. Earth is left with massive debts from the purchase of unsold scone ingredients
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Jubal

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #361 on: October 31, 2019, 11:52:07 PM »
Fortunately, we here end the galactic politics narrative to zoom in on the life of Zombie William Wilberforce, the famous undead anti-slavery campaigner.
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Ierne

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #362 on: November 13, 2019, 12:37:54 AM »
Unfortunately, Zombie Will begins his career impoverished as a result of the Galactic Scone Crisis, and has to hand out pamphlets written by hand on paper bags

Tusky

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #363 on: November 14, 2019, 01:30:22 PM »
Fortunately the paper bags are a huge success - as people start using his bags for general every day use. It makes his campaign more effective than he could have possibly hoped spreading his message far and wide. Slavery is abolished. War is ended. 3 day working weeks are introduced and everyone gets given free ice creams on Saturday.
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Jubal

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #364 on: November 15, 2019, 09:30:27 PM »
Unfortunately, jealous of our success and happiness, Zircon the Dark invades the Earth with an army of mechanised attack teapots. Not only that, but they're plastic teapots.
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Glaurung

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #365 on: November 16, 2019, 02:50:34 PM »
Fortunately, due to a terrible misunderstanding of Earth surface conditions in Zircon's military design department, the plastic melts on contact with boiling water, so the teapots are useless, and the invasion is immediately defeated.

Jubal

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #366 on: November 16, 2019, 04:15:55 PM »
Unfortunately, nobody trusts teapots any more all the same.
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Ierne

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #367 on: November 17, 2019, 02:47:53 PM »
Fortunately, this means that when the Great Teapot Uprising comes, people are prepared, rather than taken by surprise.

Jubal

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #368 on: November 17, 2019, 04:04:15 PM »
Unfortunately, the brutal reprisals lead to the creation of an oppressed teapot underclass.
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Tusky

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #369 on: November 19, 2019, 02:31:39 PM »
Fortunately their figurehead teapot: Percival Pumkinpants III is about as effective as a chocolate teapot at orchestrating uprisings - however quite good at gaining equality for oppressed underclasses.
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Ierne

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #370 on: November 19, 2019, 03:33:58 PM »
Unfortunately witnessing teapots gain their rights- while they themselves are still ignored- provokes the sadly underrepresented teacups and mugs to armed rebellion

Jubal

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #371 on: November 19, 2019, 10:53:46 PM »
Fortunately, as each of them only has one arm and it's permanently fixed to their side, armed rebellion is not their forte.
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Tusky

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #372 on: November 22, 2019, 09:32:15 AM »
Unfortunately, whilst attempting to rebel, quite a few of them slip down drains and cause blockages which causes a few puddles and leaks that are a frightful nuisance
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Jubal

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #373 on: November 22, 2019, 02:54:03 PM »
Fortunately, among the leaks there is a leak of key information that reveals terrible corruption in the world's governments and forces several corrupt leaders to resign.
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Tusky

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Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
« Reply #374 on: November 23, 2019, 10:36:27 AM »
Unfortunately the ousted leaders decide to form a new motorbike gang. They take to the roads causing a tremendous racket in all the towns they pass through.
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