Fortunately, Unfortunately

[Ierne]

Fortunately, the Dark Secret comes to realise that its worth is not based on sucess or its ability to function normatively

[Tusky]

Unfortunately this relisation is quite the burden to bear, so the secret decides to move to a remote house on a Mississipi bayou and spend the rest of it's days whittling little wooden mallards

[Jubal]

Fortunately the little wooden mallards grow sapient and go on a zany feelgood adventure with the Dark Secret.

[Tusky]

Unfortunately the adventure leads them to confront their one true nemesis: Averagely sized wooden mallards

[Ierne]

fortunately, the Dark Secret knows the great weakness of the Averagely sized wollen mallards: Parisian rasberry macarons

[Jubal]

Unfortunately, Macron stole the macarons and hid them in Macon in a pile of macaroni.

[Tusky]

Fortunately, macarons au macaroni is quite a delicacy in Macon, so the Averagely sized wooden mallards have a lovely time scoffing them with the townsfolk

[Leafly]

Unfortunately there was a macarons au macaroni shortage, neither the mallards or townsfolk could scoff any

[Tusky]

Fortunately Paul Hollywood happened to be passing through the area and baked them all up an enormous batch

[Leafly]

Unfortunately Mary Berry tried one, was not impressed and decided they are not good enough for the mallards or townsfolk

[Jubal]

Fortunately, the townsfolk had new alternative entertainment, as Paul Hollywood decided this was a mortal insult and challenged Mary Berry to a BAKE OFF TO THE DEATH.

[Ierne]

Unfortunately, bake off to the death is not nearly as thrilling a form of entertainment as the name might suggest, since it takes quite a long time to die from testing too many pies and cakes. The townspeople and the mallards begin to grow restless and throw tomatoes...

[Tusky]

Fortunately the contestants decide to abandon their grizzly challenge, and instead start throwing the tomatoes back in a jovial manner. This escalates as more people join in with the throwing. It eventually becomes a tomato based conflict that engulfs the entire town (similar to La Tomatina in Spain), and everyone has a lot of fun.

[Leafly]

Unfortunately in amongst all of the fun, so many tomatoes were hurled that the town quickly became flooded in tomato sauce. So, everyone bottled it all and went on a big business scheme that brought huge amounts of money back into the town, they made a rich tomato sauce good enough to sell and became rich too!

[Ierne]

Unfortunately, the international tomato-sauce producers federation becomes jealous of the runaway sucess of this new tomato sauce, and
began to draw up dastardly schemes against the town.