Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story

[Jubal]

I agree, I'm just still stuck on trying to work out a name! I think I'm struggling a bit with it because I'm not yet sure what the comic's defining feature really is other than "set in a fantasy variant of Georgia". I'm hoping that will become clearer to me in the next few strips, as I introduce some more recurring/major characters (Botso is great fun to write, but I also want him to have some people to go on adventures with). Suggestions/thoughts appreciated on the naming issue, anyway.

I'm very slowly compiling ep 5 now, in which the first of those extra recurring characters will make an appearance; ep 4 is all ready and I'll put it out next weekend.

[HanSolo]

"They should build me libraries" - love it! Very Pratchett

[Jubal]

Some minor updates:

• Title initially set as "Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story"
• The title of strip 2 is now ending (but I didn't shoot the Missionary), because I thought the joke could get lost for people who don't know that an Ordinary is a clerical role
• I've nearly finished #5, but it's being slow. I'm hoping #6 will be easier.

[Glaurung]

because I thought the joke could get lost for people who don't know that an Ordinary is a clerical role

This reminded me of a quote from SF and fantasy author Mary Gentle, in her introduction to her White Crow series:

This is why, when I say that there are jokes in Rats & Gargoyles that only three people in the world will understand, and one of them is dead, this is not an apology.

Please don't be afraid of obscure jokes and subtle references. Maybe some people won't get them, but others will - they'll connect what you've written with what they know, and a certain joyful smile will cross their face: "Oh, yes, that's what he means." Or maybe they won't understand at first, but will be motivated to do some research, and then that moment of discovery and connection will come a little later.

[Jubal]

That's a good point and well made - change reversed, since I think Ordinary makes a marginally better joke.

[Jubal]

Ep 4: Service de-liver-y

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[Glaurung]

I'm so glad I'm not jaundiced about this series

Though I note that the toastmaster first appears as an odd grey-green colour, rather than the expected yellow?

[Jubal]

Yes, I was trying for "generally sickly" - I've uploaded a new version with a more obvious yellow colouration (and a typo fix, and an enlarged "magic aura" in panel 5).

[pixeldungeonadventure]

Hehe, nice. I think #3 is my favorite with #4 being a close second. Keep up the good work.

[Jubal]

5. Travel Proposal

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[comrade_general]

[Jubal]

6. Best Foot Forward

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[SLiV]

I'm already a big fan of Otarid, Learned Above All. Not in the least because his magic seems to be teal-colored.

Hm, I'll have a think about that - I've tried messing with other fonts but none of them seemed to improve it really. Does the font still look unclear to you if you look at the image in full-size? (Click on it in a web browser to enlarge).

Ah yes, that helps a bunch.

[bigosaur]

Funny comic. I like it.

One minor nitpick: in ep4. you have a character facing right and then in 4th strip he faces left. Try to avoid changing orientation unless you change the setting (camera angle) as well, because it breaks the flow. As I was focusing on the text, I though it was the main protagonist speaking based on the position and orientation.

[Jubal]

@Bigosaur Hm, OK, I'll think about that. The change of facing was actually intentional - to show that he's no longer talking directly to Botso, but calling out to the whole room - but I can see why that'd be confusing. I'll think on it, it's a good point.

@SLiV: Yeah, Otarid seems to be a fan favourite after two panels' worth of speech. I shall have to find a way to bring the Learned Above All back into the story not too far into the future I'm still thinking maybe a breakout page where Botso tells the readers about the cosmology/deities might work well.