King of the Hill

[Jubal]

I flood the hill with more anteaters, all of which try and befriend you likewise. Whilst you are distracted by the anteaters, I take over the hill and build a castle on it.

My hill!

[Othko97]

I infest your castle with ants, and turn the anteaters against you. We storm the castle together, for the hill and for dinner.

My hill.

[Jubal]

I bring in the pangolins, which are like anteaters but armoured. We win a mighty victory.

My hill.

[DeepCandle Games]

I employ moles to tunnel their way in, upon exiting we roll the pangolins down the slopes

my hill

[Jubal]

I discover that you breached a minor aspect of legal code when employing the moles, and join with the chamber of commerce and unions to bring an employment suit against you on their behalf, depriving you of your workforce.

My hill!

[Glaurung]

Months have passed, which must be geological aeons on the timescale of this most unfortunate of hills. It has surely been weathered away and recreated by geological processes, perhaps more than once. As such, it is now unoccupied - terra nullius, I believe.

Therefore, I can simply plant my flag in it and claim it. My hill!

[Jubal]

I see your appeal to terra nullius and raise you my appeal to ius pholidota.

Which is to say, I invade the hill with pangolins.

My hill!

[Glaurung]

I lay out extensive supplies of ants and other prime pangolin foodstuffs, and lure away your pangolin army.

My hill!

[Jubal]

I reveal that the hill was secretly an anthill all along, causing your wiles to be overthrown and the pangolins to return.

My hill!

[Glaurung]

I persuade the ants to overthrow their pangolin masters.

Their hill!

[Tusky]

I use a kettle to thward your ants.

I sumon a huddle of Walruses to stand guard over the crest with their mighty blubber

[Glaurung]

I call my friend the Carpenter, who is easily able to persuade the walruses to take a walk, with the promise of meeting some oysters. The hill is undefended...

My hill!

[Jubal]

I also call the Carpenter, and tell him that your joists are full of dry-rot. He duly nails them into place, but goes through a cable, shorting a circuit and leaving the Hill without power. I move in with the Electrician, Glazier, Painter and Gas-man to take over.

My hill!

[Glaurung]

You have failed to recruit the Plumber, who kindly agrees to turn off the water supply for me. You and your assorted tradesfolk are forced to abandon the hill due to thirst.

My hill!

[Jubal]

I tell the plumber that the princess is in another castle, forcing him to leave to rescue her in some sort of zany classic platforming adventure.

I reclaim the hill along with a clan of water nymphs to ensure no future supply shortages.