King of the Hill

[Caradìlis]

The witch returns once again, finding the right hill this time, and uses an eternal happiness potion on everyone. Nobody is sad anymore and I am crowned Queen of the Hill.

My hill!

[Tusky]

Having waited a sufficient length of time for the happiness potion to wear off, I hire an elite team of spin doctors to capitalise on the ensuing malcontent. You are ousted as queen of the hill. I then equip the spin doctors with pea shooters and Papier-mâché shields. I put them at base of the hill as defensive "cannon fodder" because I hate them.

My hill.

[Jubal]

I use carefully placed blasts from a wind cannon to counteract the motion of your spin doctors, rendering them still. Having stopped spinning, they are just doctors, so I give apples to them on a daily basis as the time-honoured way of removing them from the field.

I then bring in a crack team of unemployed hairdressers, take over the hill, and declare social lockdown due to the pandemic so nobody else is allowed to come near.

My hill!

[Caradìlis]

With my sorcery magic, I create vaccine cannons, and immunise everyone. They are no longer afraid of the pandemic, break your lockdown and overthrow you. As the healer of all of society, I am hailed as Queen of the Hill.

My hill.

[Jubal]

I point out that society should not be reliant on one person for healthcare, and bring an army of unemployed doctors to take over the hill.

My hill!

[Caradìlis]

I point out that magic is always the answer to everyone's problems, your doctors politely nod, get out of my way and let me do my magic stuff...

My hill.

[Tusky]

I win over a team of Wizards by baking them a carrot cake. In thanks they help assault the hill with powerful spells that are a match for yours.

My hill

[Caradìlis]

I am annoyed now... But as Shakespeare has so wisely said, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" No army is a match for me. I take the hill back all on my own.

My hill

[Jubal]

You get too lonely due to the isolation on the hill and decide you need a hug. I have cunningly subverted an army of small cuddly humans and animals, who come in to keep you company and then hand the hill over to me while you are distracted.

My hill!

[Caradìlis]

I have received an upgrade called "hug". I am now even more unstoppable than before. I take back the hill, you can offer no resistance.

My hill!

[Tusky]

I attempt to subvert your bullish pomp and bluster using a swarm of high fiving 80s skater folk.

Their brightly coloured clothes and lack of phones overcomes your vague unstoppableness.

My hill

[Caradìlis]

I decide I have had enough of this sillyness. I take my true form as a gigantic periwinkle blue dragon and roast the hill with blue fire. I then burrow inside and build myself a nice cave to live in.

My hill!

[Tusky]

I gather a horde of ants, and introduce the to the hill. They make it, and much of your cavern, their home. You are forced to vacate due to their itching and endless industriousness.

My hill.

[Jubal]

I introduce an anteater. It is very fluffy and also eats all the ants. I move into the cave with my anteater.

My hill!

[Caradìlis]

I befriend the anteater and move back into the hill.

My hill.