For your initial line, the ranged cake-turret defences, the answer is simple: with them being automatic and motion-detecting, they will not manage to distinguish between a real enemy and a fake one. Thus I simply make a large number of papier mache copies of myself, with the help of Neil Buchanan from classic British children's TV show Art Attack, and keep sending the infinite number of ones he turned out to have made earlier into the fray until your cakes run out of bullets.
As for the poodles, I considered simply throwing a stick very far from the hill but I'm unconvinced they'd bother to chase it, so instead I'll simply throw in a Best Dog In Show rosette much in the manner of Eris' apple in Greek Mythology and watch as the united poodle front collapses in the face of their own vanity.
I will now seek to defend the hill with giant papier mache walls and cardboard cut-outs, because Neil Buchanan needs something to do these days.