Would you rather?

[Jubal]

Action drama! I know my life from a documentary perspective, and I'm interested to see how on earth anyone would write an action script.

Would you rather the sky became dotted with images of Nicholas Cage in various roles, or that the sky occasionally had advertisements for turnip oil emblazoned right across it?

[The Seamstress]

(There's a documentary about your life...?) It could actually be fun to try writing one's life story in different genres, btw.


Both would be annoying, I guess, but: turnip oil.

Would you rather be abducted by wibulnibs or by turnip oil salespeople?

[Jubal]

(There's a documentary about your life...?)

No, I just mean I know factually what happened and can narrate it myself in my head if needed


I'll be abducted by the turnip oil people I guess? Though maybe the wibulnibs wouldn't be so bad. They have cider. And I haven't seen Pentagathus in a while, if they choose to take me to their king.

Would you rather be room-mates with a scuttling disembodied hand, or an overly chatty hovering skull that made a lot of bad puns and occasionally hinted at having a past with you that you had no memory of?

[The Seamstress]

No, I just mean I know factually what happened and can narrate it myself in my head if needed

Ok, suspicions confirmed. (And there I was, thinking I could watch "Jubal: The Movie"...!)


I think the hand, though it would probably creep me out, but a constantly babbling skull seems worse.

Would you rather swim in a pool filled with chocolate or one filled with milk?

[Jubal]

Both sound icky. I guess milk, in that chocolate to be liquid enough to swim in would also be burningly hot.

Would you rather learn python or learn to handle pythons?

[The Seamstress]

I think I prefer the option that doesn't involve living snakes...

An eldritch horror appears behind you! Would you rather a) scream and run, or b) offer it a drink?

[Jubal]

Offer it a drink. If it's that close I almost certainly can't outrun it anyway!

Would you rather play the Ocarina of Time (the game) or play the Ocarina of Time (the eponymous fictional instrument)?

[The Seamstress]

Play the game. The only Zelda game I played through so far is A Link to the Past, so I'd like to try others!

Would you rather walk on stilts wherever you have to go, or walk normal but somersault every ten metres?

[Jubal]

I can do neither, but if asked to learn one I actually kinda think stilts sound fun.

Would you rather chess bishops reverted to being elephants again, or that chess was standardly on a 10x10 board and had additional pieces for lions?

[The Seamstress]

I know next to nothing about chess, but elephants instead of bishops seems to be a good deal.

Would you rather every medication tasted like gouda or every chocolate bar functioned as all-in-one medication?

[Jubal]

I feel like medicinal chocolate would among other things make medicine a lot cheaper and would therefore be an enormous boon to humanity so let's go with that.

Would you rather Mandarin or Esperanto became the international lingua franca instead of English?

[The Seamstress]

I think Esperanto would be easier to learn?

Would you rather ban all annoying noise ever or send people who make annoying noise to the moon?

[Jubal]

I don't want to do either, but given we can't currently maintain a habitat on the moon, I'll just ban annoying noise rather than send people to their deaths.

Would you rather be governed by a cockroach with memory loss issues, or a random number generator?

[The Seamstress]

The cockroach, probably. You can't count on a random number generator.

Would you rather learn the best-kept secret of Esmeralda the Elf (who allegedly knows a lot about human politics and can see into the past as well as the future) or of Dave the Dwarf (who knows a lot of tales from all over the world and also has cookies)?

[Jubal]

Dwarf friend!

Would you rather be an an admirable admiral, or be a generic general?