Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

They could, but the metronome industry has been lobbying against it. You have no idea how powerful the metronome industry truly is, do not mess with them!

How can I obtain more self-confidence?

[Jubal]

Potatoes, it must come from potatoes.

Source, I don't eat potatoes and don't have any either.

Why is the world so tiring?

[The Seamstress]

Potatoes, it must come from potatoes. Source, I don't eat potatoes and don't have any either.

That can't be true though since I eat tons of potatoes and don't have any. (They should fund some scientific research into this.)

Why is the world so tiring?

I don't know. I'm too tired to think about it.


How much honey fits into Winnie The Pooh before he explodes?

[Jubal]

INFINITE HONEY HIS CAPACITY IS IMMEASURABLE


Why is Greenland not Purpleland?

[The Seamstress]

Because green is the prettier colour in this scenario. Also land usually isn't purple.

There's a spider living on my ceiling, how can I make it pay rent?

[Jubal]

You need to get them used to paying other 1990s musicals first and then work up to it - try getting it to pay Mamma Mia or Sunset Boulevard first, depending on its taste.

Why isn't poetry paid better?

[The Seamstress]

It's poor-etry, not rich-etry. (And this is probably the worst pun ever.)

Who knows everything?

[Jubal]

Professor McBlusterFluff's Highly Trained Titmouse. That's what all the training was for.

Who sees everything?

[The Seamstress]

Rabbits.

Are rabbits just oversized bun-shaped caterpillars, regarding their eating habits? Discuss.

[Tusky]

Rabbits are indeed large caterpillars. They feast on leaves, and hide in trees for protection. They often adopt the colourings of the vegetation they tend to inhabit for camouflage. Once they are mature of course, they form a chrysalepidoptaris, and emerge after some time as the majestic bunny-fly.

When cattle are lowing, how low is that, exactly?

[Jubal]

Depends how high they were to start with. Highland cows and cows in the Netherlands curiously are therefore both bad at lowing.

If I have so much pain in the mornings why can't I start an artisanal French bakery with it?

[The Seamstress]

The demand for pain in the general population is quite low at the moment, I guess.

When will ducks finally seize world domination?