Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Me.

Why didn't I realise I was an alien earlier? It makes a lot of sense.

[The Seamstress]

The Beta-Nebula-Fungus prevented you from realising. It was for your own good. But now you know and you can fulfill your destiny as The Chosen One, sent to earth to gain human knowledge and eat cheese.

Which planet are you from?

[Jubal]

The Forbidden Planet.

Where will all the cheese go when the dancing stops?

[The Seamstress]

The Goddess of All Cheeses will descend from her throne and collect it, so that it may forever be revered in her temple. Rejoice!


Where will we find the answers to all our existential questions?

[Jubal]

A Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry, I expect.

Why does the fire dance so brightly?

[The Seamstress]

That's what fire does. It has one job.

To bee or not to bee?

[Jubal]

That is the question.


Que Será, Será?

[The Seamstress]

Whatever will be, will be.

Why is the future not ours to see?

[Jubal]

Because you can only smell the future.

If you had an extra sense, why would potatovision not be an ideal choice?

[The Seamstress]

I'd see POTATO everywhere. Potato all day and all night. Every day and every night. 365 days and nights of POTATO. I like potatoes very much, but not that much.

Why are potatoes potato-shaped?

[Jubal]

Because they can't risk being tomato shaped.

I don't trust hypotenuses. What's their angle?

[The Seamstress]

They have none, they only pretend to. You should never trust them.

What's risky about being tomato-shaped?