Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

Because according to their name they were made for air and humans aren't air.

Why shouldn't you judge a book by its cover?

[Jubal]

What's undercover is classified and you might get arrested for judging it

Why are there not more flavours of tomato?

[The Seamstress]

Copyright infringement.

What is my destiny?

[Jubal]

You are fated to post again in this thread!

Where can I find a good oracle these days?

[The Seamstress]

The dark web. But I'm actually not supposed to tell you, oracles are illegal and good ones are illegaler.

Why were wolves/dogs domesticated and bears were not?

[Jubal]

Patriarchy. They say dogs are a man's best friend, but that women choose the bear.

Why is there still cross stitch? What does a stitch even have to be upset about??

[The Seamstress]

The world, I guess. Every stitch has angry tendencies, they spend their existence stabbing things so that's only reasonable.

Is there actually intelligent life on earth?

[Jubal]

Yes, desmans are very wise little beings.

On the same topic, why is the running stitch running? What does it fear?

[Tusky]

Have you seen the size of those needles?

What would be the drawbacks in creating a fashionable line of knee shaped headwear: the knee cap?

[The Seamstress]

They'd be ugly? Maybe? I don't know.

What's the difference between a fish and a chip?

[Jubal]

There isn't one, since neither can be adequately defined, so they're both merely possibility spaces.

Why don't owlbears wear tiny hats?

[The Seamstress]

They need to be taught some fashion sense, then be given some tiny hats. It's not very complicated.

Why don't owlbears already have fashion sense and tiny hats though?

[Jubal]

They noticed that too many fashion models are very skinny, thought fashion seemed a very unhealthy idea, and went back to eating.

Why can't I fix the world better?

[The Seamstress]

No one can fix the world all alone. You'll need to recruit an army of owlbears and pangolins.

Why do people like April Fools? It's not funny.

[Tusky]

The fools of January, February, and March are too violent and the others too evil. April's fools are the best of a bad bunch.

Why do Viking get all the attention? What happened to Ikings, IIkings, IIIkings, IVkings and the Vkings?