Fortunately, Unfortunately

[Caradìlis]

Unfortunately, I called my future and it picked up saying: "Thank you for calling the Apocalypse, this is Climate Change speaking, how may I ruin your day?"

[justatoady]

Fortunately, you have an excellent phone plan and paid very little for phoning forwards in time.

[Jubal]

Unfortunately, you got wiretapped by the CIA.

[Caradìlis]

Fortunately, the CIA already got bored listening to me and my brothers planning bombings and killer virus epidemics, so they don't really bother listening anymore...

[Tusky]

Unfortunately, this means their attentions are elsewhere.
They uncover what they perceive to be a nefarious a plot by some clowns to defraud the circus they work for, but is actually a simple plan to give sweets and toys to the children at their next performance. They wrongfully arrest the clowns, along with some potential accomplices working at the circus. The evening's performance is reduced to featuring one lonely trapeze artist and Keith the horse riding juggler.
They struggle to win over the crowd.

[Jubal]

Fortunately, Keith the horse riding juggler spots his chance, gets the trapeze artist onto his horse, and they ride out of town together before the crowd can pelt them with rotten eggs and tomatoes.

[Caradìlis]

Unfortunately, they didn't look where they were going and went straight over a cliff...

[Jubal]

Fortunately, I cast feather fall and they got to the ground safely.

[Caradìlis]

Unfortunately, an army of jotuns on a drinking spree runs past and accidentally tramples everyone to death...

[Jubal]

Fortunately, their drinking spree means that THE MIGHTY THOR can defeat them all whilst they are drunk, saving the rest of the world from the giants.

[Caradìlis]

Unfortunately, Odin was not on bord with genocide and kicks Thor out of Asgard...

[Jubal]

Fortunately, this is a great plot hook for a story and leads to a hugely successful comic, novel and movie franchise.

[Caradìlis]

Unfortunately, Thanos comes along and kina ruins everything for everyone...

[Jubal]

Fortunately, Thanos has no power outside of Marvel properties, and Exilian has not been bought out by Marvel...

[Caradìlis]

Unfortunately, this means that Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse will never get her own Superhero Movie...