[Dev Log] Tourney: The medieval tournament sim

[Tusky]

Hey guys!

Well I've been busy the last while putting together a kickstarter to crowdfund for some remaining elements on the game! Pretty nervous 

I have a preview link here I'm only sharing in a couple of places to hopefully get a little feedback. Please check it out if you have a a moment. Any comments will be really appreciated!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tusky/tourney-the-medieval-tournament-simulator?ref=bq4647&token=3ccb1569

[Jubal]

Looks good! A couple of thoughts:

• The term "very unique" makes me cringe, I don't know if that's just me - but something definitionally can't be more or less unique, it either is or isn't.
• I'd flip round "However there are some parts of the project that without your help will cause big delays, or could compromise the quality of the finished game." This sounds too negative and I think might give backers pause. Instead maybe a positive framing like "However, there are some parts of the project where your help will hugely speed up development and significantly increase the quality of the finished game." That's saying basically the same thing, but in a much more positive light.

[Tusky]

Thanks so much for giving it a read!

The term "very unique" makes me cringe

You are right, I think I must have wrote that bit when I was tired. I've also changed the first "unique" in the sentence to "distinctive" so I'm not repeating the same word.

I'd flip round "However there are some parts of the project that without your help will cause big delays, or could compromise the quality of the finished game." This sounds too negative and I think might give backers pause. Instead maybe a positive framing like "However, there are some parts of the project where your help will hugely speed up development and significantly increase the quality of the finished game." That's saying basically the same thing, but in a much more positive light.

Excellent point. I've changed that

[bigosaur]

Well I've been busy the last while putting together a kickstarter to crowdfund for some remaining elements on the game! Pretty nervous 

I have a preview link here I'm only sharing in a couple of places to hopefully get a little feedback. Please check it out if you have a a moment.

Hey, I'm not a native English speaker, so I could be mistaken on anything I write below. Anyway...

Where Tourney differs from more traditional sim games is that you are running a tournament, so you will be able to get involved and try to win!

Shouldn't this be that "you are competing in a tournament" instead? "You are running a tournament" sounds like you're the organizer to me. Maybe something like "Where Tourney differs from more traditional sim games is that you aren't just running a tournament, you are also able to get involved and try to win!"

Budget

There are two things here, and they are connected. Your target of £3,200 seems a bit low to me. When I look at the budget allocation, it looks like it's structured in such way to cover external costs and you would be working for free. I have talked to some people who back up KS projects on regular basis and they stay away from such projects, because they feel it's too risky. I have also seen many successful campaigns where developers added "cost of living" to the equation. You expect 8-9 months of development and you should eat and drink at least during that time.

If you have some independent source of funding, it should be stated (you don't have to disclose what it is, only that your life doesn't depend on this project succeeding). Escape From BioStation with 4 user reviews on Steam doesn't look like it's bringing food to the table every month, so there must be something else.

I'm just saying this from a funder perspective: if I'm going to fund a project, I want to make sure I know the developer will be there to push it all the way to the end.

I know you only collected £1,000-something for Escape from BioStation, but Tourney is much more promising game. It's got nicer graphics, more appealing genre and I believe there is an actual market for such game on Steam. I wouldn't be surprised if it sold 5000+ copies on Steam, provided that you do proper marketing.

Now, you don't need to increase the target sum, but at least add a couple of sentences that would ensure the backers that you know what you're doing financially, and that your own cost of living is covered.

Good luck with KS!

[Tusky]

Shouldn't this be that "you are competing in a tournament" instead?

It's "running" as in "organising". I didn't think about the ambiguity for non native English speakers. So I will change that!

at least add a couple of sentences that would ensure the backers that you know what you're doing financially

Such a good point. I will add something about that

Thanks to you both!

[bigosaur]

Shouldn't this be that "you are competing in a tournament" instead?

It's "running" as in "organising".

Well, I think I was right then. But maybe I didn't explain it properly. If you are organizing a tournament, you aren't competing in it. The usual sim game has you only organizing, not competing. As I understand, Tourney allows you to both organize and compete, but the sentence on KS page doesn't really say that. It seem to imply that "running" is an extra, unusual feature.

Or did I misunderstand the game completely?

[Tusky]

Ah I see what you mean! yea you are right - you are doing both.

I will make that more clear then   

[Tusky]

I added

"Essentially the budget allocation is structured in such way to cover external costs. As with the last few years that the game has been in development I have in the most part worked solo as I have an independent source of funding for my own living costs."

And redid the bullet points to make it clearer and flow better

[Tusky]

Thanks again for your input guys!

The campaign is now live!!!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tusky/tourney-the-medieval-tournament-simulator

[Jubal]

Is there a version of the Kickstarter pitch video on YouTube? Thinking what to use for the Exilian frontpage announcement

[Tusky]

wow that would be amazing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io0kokqshnE

[SLiV]

The kickstarter looks great! I justed backed it, hope it gets there.

[Tusky]

The kickstarter looks great! I justed backed it, hope it gets there.

Thank you very much! Very nice of you 

[Jubal]

Just got round to getting some Exilian plugging of it set up

[Tusky]

That's awesome! Thank you very much!