Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story

[Jubal]

23. Meat Shields

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Does this one come over OK? It was sort of necessary to shift plot along, but I just felt the dialogue was heavy and a bit clunky to write.

[Ierne]

It's good! You got the tension well

[bigosaur]

Oh no. Now I'm actually going to be impatient while waiting for the next episode. 

[Jubal]

24. Shields Meet

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[Ierne]

Great action scene! This was fun, especially Rusudan's nervously talking about her feet

[Tusky]

Oh no! Is Varam done for?

[Jubal]

25. Cracks Opening

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[Glaurung]

Many thanks again, though I hope the resolution of this latest cliff-hanger will take less than two months.

Also, I'm reaching the point where I think a dramatis personae list might be useful: I can remember what each of the characters is or does, but I'm having difficulty keeping track of all the names. A quick reference might be good.

[Jubal]

I'm hoping so as well! The election rather killed my good intentions on this front.

I'd like to push to the end of Chapter One, though "push" may be some while considering it could be another eight pages, and then sort the other things out a bit better - depends how urgent a Dramatis Personae will be (and how many characters it needs to include - just the four leads, or them and the major antagonists so far, or the minor characters and if so how many thereof?).

[Ierne]

i loved this page- great cliffhanger, and intriguing hints about Varam!

[Glaurung]

I'm hoping so as well!

Glad to hear it.

I'd like to push to the end of Chapter One, though "push" may be some while considering it could be another eight pages...

This is still just Chapter One??

... depends how urgent a Dramatis Personae will be (and how many characters it needs to include - just the four leads, or them and the major antagonists so far, or the minor characters and if so how many thereof?).

I can't say it's urgent at all - it's something that would probably make reading easier for me, and I'd guess others too, but if I really want to find out who someone is at the moment I can always read through the previous panels. As for who should be in it, ideally any character with a presence that extends over more than say 2-3 consecutive panels and a function that's more than just another soldier or villager. So, for example the mysterious and sarcastic guide/mercenary with the royal/religious forces should be in, but the village toastmaster need not be. But it's up to you: start with the first few you think of, and add others as time permits.

[Tusky]

it's something that would probably make reading easier for me, and I'd guess others too

I agree with glaurungs point a bit. I can remember broadly and can get by. I think a dramatis personae might serve as a reminder

[Jubal]

OK, I'll look into doing a DP sooner rather than later then


And yes, this is still Ch. 1... maybe I should split the chapters down more?

[Glaurung]

And yes, this is still Ch. 1... maybe I should split the chapters down more?

Not necessarily - you will know where the natural chapter breaks come better than any of us. I think the tone of surprise (if it came across) was at the sudden sense there is going to be a lot more of Mountain Leopards that I had previously been expecting. "Chapter 1" (of 30-35 panels) implies at least another 3 or 4 chapters of similar length, and maybe a lot more.

[Jubal]

26. Should've Toad The Line

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Not necessarily - you will know where the natural chapter breaks come better than any of us. I think the tone of surprise (if it came across) was at the sudden sense there is going to be a lot more of Mountain Leopards that I had previously been expecting. "Chapter 1" (of 30-35 panels) implies at least another 3 or 4 chapters of similar length, and maybe a lot more.

A lot more. I basically know the rest of this story, and I'm not expecting to ever finish it given the time and size of project it would take to actually tell the thing. But it does chunk up neatly, so if I eventually get the first four chapters done I think they'll form a neat enough piece in and of themselves.