Author Topic: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story  (Read 22204 times)

Jubal

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #135 on: October 05, 2019, 08:46:32 PM »
23. Meat Shields



Does this one come over OK? It was sort of necessary to shift plot along, but I just felt the dialogue was heavy and a bit clunky to write.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2019, 09:53:25 PM by Jubal »
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Ierne

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #136 on: October 05, 2019, 10:30:47 PM »
It's good! You got the tension well :)

bigosaur

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #137 on: October 13, 2019, 09:20:29 AM »
Oh no. Now I'm actually going to be impatient while waiting for the next episode.  :)

Jubal

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #138 on: October 20, 2019, 09:53:06 PM »
24. Shields Meet


« Last Edit: December 25, 2019, 11:47:38 PM by Jubal »
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Ierne

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #139 on: October 20, 2019, 10:49:20 PM »
Great action scene! This was fun, especially Rusudan's nervously talking about her feet :)

Tusky

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #140 on: November 19, 2019, 03:33:27 PM »
Oh no! Is Varam done for?
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Jubal

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #141 on: December 25, 2019, 11:46:50 PM »
25. Cracks Opening


 
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Glaurung

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #142 on: December 26, 2019, 10:06:32 PM »
Many thanks again, though I hope the resolution of this latest cliff-hanger will take less than two months.

Also, I'm reaching the point where I think a dramatis personae list might be useful: I can remember what each of the characters is or does, but I'm having difficulty keeping track of all the names. A quick reference might be good.

Jubal

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #143 on: December 27, 2019, 09:56:22 PM »
I'm hoping so as well! The election rather killed my good intentions on this front.

I'd like to push to the end of Chapter One, though "push" may be some while considering it could be another eight pages, and then sort the other things out a bit better - depends how urgent a Dramatis Personae will be (and how many characters it needs to include - just the four leads, or them and the major antagonists so far, or the minor characters and if so how many thereof?).
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Ierne

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #144 on: December 28, 2019, 02:36:24 PM »
i loved this page- great cliffhanger, and intriguing hints about Varam!

Glaurung

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #145 on: December 28, 2019, 04:09:41 PM »
I'm hoping so as well!
Glad to hear it.

I'd like to push to the end of Chapter One, though "push" may be some while considering it could be another eight pages...
This is still just Chapter One??

... depends how urgent a Dramatis Personae will be (and how many characters it needs to include - just the four leads, or them and the major antagonists so far, or the minor characters and if so how many thereof?).
I can't say it's urgent at all - it's something that would probably make reading easier for me, and I'd guess others too, but if I really want to find out who someone is at the moment I can always read through the previous panels. As for who should be in it, ideally any character with a presence that extends over more than say 2-3 consecutive panels and a function that's more than just another soldier or villager. So, for example the mysterious and sarcastic guide/mercenary with the royal/religious forces should be in, but the village toastmaster need not be. But it's up to you: start with the first few you think of, and add others as time permits.

Tusky

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #146 on: December 28, 2019, 09:50:37 PM »
it's something that would probably make reading easier for me, and I'd guess others too

I agree with glaurungs point a bit. I can remember broadly and can get by. I think a dramatis personae might serve as a reminder
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Jubal

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #147 on: December 31, 2019, 06:07:48 PM »
OK, I'll look into doing a DP sooner rather than later then :)


And yes, this is still Ch. 1... maybe I should split the chapters down more?
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Glaurung

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Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
« Reply #148 on: January 01, 2020, 10:09:32 AM »
And yes, this is still Ch. 1... maybe I should split the chapters down more?
Not necessarily - you will know where the natural chapter breaks come better than any of us. I think the tone of surprise (if it came across) was at the sudden sense there is going to be a lot more of Mountain Leopards that I had previously been expecting. "Chapter 1" (of 30-35 panels) implies at least another 3 or 4 chapters of similar length, and maybe a lot more.