Spoil a wish

[Jubal]

You know what everyone thinks! The flood of knowledge of exactly what people are thinking about and exactly how much of it is innuendo melts your brain.

I wish once or twice a year I could pick a day to magically re-do, with the knowledge of whatever I'd done wrong the first time round.

[The Seamstress]

Your wish is granted! Unfortunately by re-doing days you create glitches in the timeline. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? You're the butterfly now and we're all doomed.


I wish fairytale creatures and cryptids replaced all politicians.

[Jubal]

You're the butterfly now

Being a butterfly sounds quite nice, though...

Fairytale creatures replace all politicians! Unfortunately, since most of them come from the medieval period and a lot of them are more folk horror than good guys, we're all doomed to servitude under literal giants and vampires and suchlike. Rumpelstiltskin's ability to spin gold does improve the national finances for a while until the price of gold crashes, though.

I wish for a hug

[The Seamstress]

You get a hug. I refuse to spoil that.

I wish magic was real.

[Jubal]

Magic is real! It's chaos magic from Warhammer. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD becomes a very annoying thing to hear on the tram every morning as more souls get eviscerated for the glory of the ruinous powers.

I wish I was better at setting boundaries.

[The Seamstress]

You're good at setting boundaries: The Boundaries Of The Universe. No one knows what they really are but setting them is a Very Important Task only a few Chosen Ones can do. Unfortunately you end up at the edge of space for unknown reasons.

I wish I had magic healing powers.

[Jubal]

You have magic healing powers! Specifically you can heal any disease suffered by huntsman spiders. This is not very useful.

I wish I could just occasionally actually see (in the sense of feeling) what on earth other people see of value in me

[The Seamstress]

You're valued for being you. Every being on earth likes you! Including giant mutant stink bugs from the Amazon forest. They will visit you soon.


I wish the world was quieter.

[Jubal]

Giant mutant stink bug friends? 

The world is quieter. It turns out it wasn't the world making most of the noise to start with, it was the people living on the world. Also it's now harder to tell when earthquakes are coming.

I wish I felt less tense.

[The Seamstress]

You feel less tense. You only had to make a deal with a wizard who turned all your muscles into gelatine. It's rather impractical though.

I wish I had more energy to actually get things done.

[Jubal]

You have energy but only for completing tasks, which makes it very hard to do any task that isn't going to be completed in one setting.

I wish I knew how to start a conversation with someone without it feeling weird.

[The Seamstress]

Starting a conversation doesn't feel weird! It feels awkward.

I wish weather with temperatures higher than 25°C didn't exist.

[Jubal]

Weather with temperatures higher than 25 no longer exists! This means the hottest places on earth have to cool down to 25 celsius, meaning most places where everyone lives have to also cool down to allow for this. To get Furnace Valley down from highs of 56.7, that means losing 31.7 celsius everywhere, making most places uninhabitably cold and killing most of the world's biodiversity and plant life. On the plus side, we solved global warming, on the minus side, we're all dying in a new ice age.

I wish I could make things cook faster (without sacrificing quality or how cooked through the food is, etc).

[The Seamstress]

Things cook faster! The food is perfectly fine, but your kitchen isn't. Better call the Magical Emergency Service.

I wish my flat cleaned and organised itself.

[Jubal]

Your flat cleans and organises itself, but has entirely different priorities to you, so it's easy to find cleaning equipment but anything that distracts you from keeping the flat tidy, like craft supplies or your computer, is suddenly very hard to find indeed.

I wish my flat was repaired.