Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

ERROR 421

What happened to all the ravens?

[The Seamstress]

They're at the annual Raven Council, discussing the state of the world. They'll be back to take revenge.

Why are there no plants, ants or planes on planets other than earth?

[Jubal]

Only fungi in space. Only fungi.

If there is prosecco why is there not antisecco?

[The Seamstress]

Oh, there is. It's in hiding, waiting for its chance to make us all regret not believing in its existence.

How do we destroy bad AI?

[Jubal]

Armadillo spit is the key ingredient.

When did the llamas teach the armadilloes to spit so well?

[The Seamstress]

They started back in 1290 for reasons lost to time. Only five years later, the armadilloes had mastered the art of spitting, which led to the founding of The Spit-Armed Armadillo Association, a rather secluded society that's nevertheless helping people in need. They're also luddites and have an uncanny appetite for onions.

Why are some allegedly simple tasks not simple at all, but bothersome and exhausting? Lies! Lies everywhere!

[Jubal]

The timewarp beetles keep undoing bits of them and making them ahrder.

Where is Atlantis?

[The Seamstress]

It's gone! Whooosh!

Why do I keep amassing craft supplies despite not being able to do All The Projects?

[Jubal]

You are actually a videogame character with inventory and hoarding problems.

Why can't my guitar tell me what I should do with this song?

[The Seamstress]

You are actually a videogame character with inventory and hoarding problems.

That makes a lot of sense...


Maybe your guitar already told you what to do with this song, you might just need to listen more carefully. Guitars only talk while you're playing, so the music kind of muffles their words.

What should I cook for lunch tomorrow?

[Jubal]

When in doubt, Cheese

Why is the light so light?

[The Seamstress]

It travels at light speed, so it needs to be light. Logic!

Which secret society is the most secret?

[Jubal]

This one! You didn't know we were in it? Well that just proves how secret it is.

Why don't the squid gods of doom eat more cake and lighten up a bit?

[The Seamstress]

Because cake doesn't work underwater, sadly.

Have candles ever made peace with electric light? It stole their livelihood, after all.

[Jubal]

It stopped people literally setting fire to them all the time. Electric light is a hero for candles.

Could one make a cake that worked underwater?