Would you rather?

[The Seamstress]

Picard in The Wizard of Oz sounds like a potentially very funny story, I'd actually read/watch that!

Muppets in a Sherlock Holmes TV series or in a period drama based on a mashup of Jane Austen's novels?

[Jubal]

Oh muppet Holmes I think. Ideally retaining a serious human actor to play either Holmes or a very exasperated Lestrade.

You're obliged to fight an old school duel: swords or pistols?

[The Seamstress]

Swords.

Be a tourist visiting Camelot or Avalon?

[Jubal]

Avalon, I think.

You have to write a film for a particular film star to be the lead in. Pedro Pascal or Keanu Reeves?

[The Seamstress]

Keanu Reeves.

You're the main character in a very serious film: "The Abominable Bearpossum", a story about a bear and an opossum mutating into one being because they both ate the same alien-virus-infected honey and now Bearpossum wants revenge (you play Bearpossum); or "Night of the Killer Nuts", in which a mad scientist implants tiny artificial brains into walnut shells, thus making them highly intelligent and wanting to rule the world (you play the leader of the walnuts)?

[Jubal]

Walnuts! NOW IS OUR TIME!


Vinegar or lemon juice?

[The Seamstress]

Lemon juice.

Travel to Venice or Rome?

[Jubal]

Rome, but only because I've never been, I'd probably prefer Venice between the two.

Be required to wear a tabard at work or be required to wear a tricorne with a large feather in it at work?

[The Seamstress]

I think the tricorne. Wearing a tabard in summer would probably make me pass out.

Be a secret agent or a detective?

[Jubal]

Detective. I don't want to be surreptitiously murdered by the Russians.


Reduce your rent and bills specifically to zero, or reduce everyone in your country's rents by five percent? In either case, the companies and landlords will have to foot the bill.

[The Seamstress]

Reduce everyone's rent!

Fight a boss called Bongo Bongo or one called Cymbal Cymbal?

[Jubal]

Cymbal cymbal has fewer risks of awkward racism connotations, so we'll go with cymbal cymbal.


Fight a boss or fight a landlord?

[The Seamstress]

Cymbal cymbal has fewer risks of awkward racism connotations,

Ugh, why is there always some racist armadillo everywhere I had no idea. (Thanks, I hate it.)


I think I'd rather fight a landlord. I'm not happy with mine either, raising the rent all the time. 


Drink rain-water or melted-snow-water?

[Jubal]

Snowmelt is cold, I'll drink that.

And yeah - I mean, bongo has a lot of other terms and uses in the singular, it's a legitimate name for a kind of drum and a particular sort of antelope, and I'm sure the drum reference is why it's used in Ocarina of Time. But that specific dual version of "bongo bongo" does have some dodgy connotations which it's worth being aware of.

Magic sheep or magic goat?

[The Seamstress]

MAGIC SHEEP. I imagine it has sparkly wool and little fairy wings, eats candyfloss and poops rainbows.

Magic horse or magic zebra?