Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

THEY AREN'T REAL and nor are the Ps.


Why do dictionaries have such poor diction? I can't even hear them speak when I ask them things!

[The Seamstress]

That's because they speak Dictionarese. It's inaudible and incomprehensible for humans, so there's no point in trying.

Who decided what colours everything is?

[Jubal]

The God of Ducks


Why aren't corks from Cork?

[The Seamstress]

Because they were invented by C.W. Cork and he's from Dublin. (Nothing about that makes sense.)


What does make sense?

[Jubal]

Sensibility.

What makes cents?

[The Seamstress]

Mint.

Why was the book called "Gone with the Wind" and not "Gone with the Rain"?

[Jubal]

The latter title was washed away.


If mint makes cents, what does thyme make?

[The Seamstress]

Ocarinas.


What if all the world's mysteries were suddenly solved, where would new ones come from?

[Jubal]

Uruguay.

Why isn't being physically covered in a writhing mass of living eels considered appropriate dress for a wedding?

[The Seamstress]

It's only inappropriate at human weddings. You could attend a cryptid wedding and no one would bat an eye.


Why don't we teach pandas to play ukulele?

[Jubal]

They won't stop playing 5 Years' Time and it gets very annoying.


Why don't we teach shrews to play the flute?

[The Seamstress]

That would have to be very tiny flutes. The last tiny flute maker died in 1799, and the secrets of their craft died with them. A very sad story.


If there are watermelons, why aren't there firemelons, earthmelons, or airmelons?

[Jubal]

Because you're in the Water Zone. Go to the Fire Planet for Firemelons.


What lies down by the river?

[The Seamstress]

Waterfowl.


Why are there no weregeese working in the steel industry?

[Jubal]

They kept stealing the steel


Why can't clocks drive?