Spoil a wish

[Tusky]

You are so incredibly interesting that people become desparate to get to know your thoughts on everything. Anything. They crowd around you when you try to go anywhere and batter you with questions. Even at home they bang on the windows and doors just for a chance to hear you say something. Your fame grows, and eventually is just a stress of attempting to flee crowds of fans and paparazzi

I wish I could say "clean self" and once I had one that it was if I had instantly enjoyed a normal shower, but am dry & still have all my clothes on.

[The Seamstress]

You can "clean self" but not "clean clothes", so these start to smell rather questionable after a while.

I wish money grew on trees and I owned a money tree orchard.

[Jubal]

You own a money orchard. This means you end up spending your life protecting money trees from honey fungus, beetles, birds, etc. Being a money farmer is a hard life.

I wish I could read medieval Greek better

[The Seamstress]

You can read medieval Greek perfectly! Unfortunately medieval Greek takes up a lot of brain power & space so it is now the only thing you can read. This is irreversible.

I wish for a wish to be fulfilled IRL.

[Jubal]

A wish is fulfilled IRL! Unfortunately there's a backlog so it's the first wish in this thread, for the abolition of school homework, which isn't very helpful since none of us are at school any more.

I wish I didn't have those annoying eye floater thingies.

[The Seamstress]

You don't have annoying eye floater thingies! Instead you have annoying ear floater thingies. They are far, far worse. Your ears fall off.

I wish the world was magical and sparkly.

[Jubal]

The world is magical and sparkly, because it is all turning into magical salt. This is inconvenient and somewhat apocalyptic.

I wish I knew where in Vienna to buy a mandolin.

[Glaurung]

At all times, you know where to buy a mandolin in Vienna. Unfortunately, it's a magical shop that jumps around the city, so you're never able to reach it in time to get the mandolin you want.

I wish Ryanair flights didn't sell out.

[The Seamstress]

Ryanair flights don't sell out! That's because no one wants to book Ryanair flights. Which is all very suspicious, especially since some rumours about langoliers popped up online.

I wish to be understood.

[Jubal]

You are understood, perfectly and totally, by someone. That person has to know every inch and facet of your whole life and context simultaneously to understand you one hundred percent. The sheer volume of knowledge that makes up a human's existence, every hair follicle and every tear shed, every footfall on a pavement and every thread of a garment felt against your arm, every hope and every night-time dream - they have to know every single bit of it. This unfortunately drives the person in question entirely mad with the totality of their understanding of you.

I wish my guts were happier.

[The Seamstress]

Your guts are happier! All thanks to Dr. Gutwell's Gut Well Diet Plan! He charges you 7000€.

I wish for everything to turn out alright.

[Tusky]

Everything on the left (relative to your current spot) is removed, leaving everything all right. The loss of 50% of reality is pleasing only to Thanos.

I wish my local supermarket did those quorn chicken style chunks things again. I have no idea why they stopped selling them.

[Jubal]

Your guts are happier! All thanks to Dr. Gutwell's Gut Well Diet Plan! He charges you 7000€.

Honestly if I could permanently fix all my gut & digestion problems, guaranteed, for 7000 euros, I would absolutely pay that on the spot...

I wish my local supermarket did those quorn chicken style chunks things again. I have no idea why they stopped selling them.

Your local supermarket sells the quorn chicken style chunks again! However, they're always in a package that claims to be something else, so you have to just awkwardly wander round feeling random packages to guess which secretly has chicken quorn inside.

I wish I was a better coder.

[The Seamstress]

You're a better coder. Everything you ever do is code now. Only other coders understand you, which makes everyday life kinda inconvenient. Ordering food in code won't get you very far, you see.

I wish I didn't have tension headaches.

[Jubal]

You don't have tension headaches because you don't have any muscles in the top part of your head to be tense. This renders you unable to make facial expressions and causes numerous other medical problems.

I wish I could stop coughing more easily.