Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

Started by Cuddly Khan, February 17, 2011, 06:59:44 AM

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The Seamstress

They're up, of course.

Why do trees in autumn turn yellow/red/brown instead of blue/purple/pink?

Jubal

Because Tzeentch, Lord of Change, has not cast his terrible shadow over our land... yet. Fear him! Fear the corruption of the Prince of Magic!


Why don't we put more turbines into rivers that drive giant crank-handle music boxes by the waterside?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

The crank-handle music box industry is afraid the sales of normal-sized crank-handle music boxes would go down because everyone would be able to listen to giant crank-handle music box music by the waterside for free. They have a powerful lobby, so there'll be no giant crank-handle music boxes for the people, sadly.


Why does everything cost so much money? That should be illegal!

Jubal

A large cut of all profit everywhere, due to franchising deals and equity swaps, goes to an angre elderly vole who owns a range of shell companies in Liechtenstein. The vole keeps jacking up prices. We don't know why.


Why isn't couscous more like cheese?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

Because only cheese is like cheese. Nothing can ever be like cheese. Even thinking anything could compare to cheese is a sacrilege for which the Goddess of All Cheeses will have you punished!


Where do I get more self-discipline?

 


Jubal

There's a shop that sells it on a small side-street in the Atlantean suburb of Phaethonia.


How does one worship the Goddess of All Cheeses?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

By eating cheese. Lots of cheese. She has a temple somewhere in France but she's an introvert, so she's happy if the number of pilgrims doesn't exceed the tolerable amount. Eating cheese will do; she'll make sure you're blessed with All the Cheeses if you give her a thumbs-up now and then.


What lives in the hidden depths of Black Holes?

Jubal

Cosmic Moles. How did you think the holes got there? And what did you think ate the worms that make wormholes?


Why don't I have an elaborate glass model of the Hagia Sophia with a sleepy hamster called Godfrey living inside it?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

Yeah, why don't you have one? You absolutely should. I'd like to meet Godfrey.

Why do stomachs make a rumbling sound when hungry, instead of screaming or playing music or just talking to us?

Jubal

They couldn't get the licenses for the music they wanted. Or for the screaming, which prompted a rather unusual legal battle at one point.


Why is being small definitely but indescribably different to being smol?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

Being small is just being small. Being smol is being small AND adorably cute. That's all I know.

How did people even manage to live before duvets were invented? It seems nearly impossible.

Jubal

They didn't, the death rate was just higher.

Shouldn't pillow forts imply the existence of pillow stately homes, pillow curtain walls, pillow cathedrals, and other such pillow structures?

The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

Of course they exist, we just don't see them because they're all indoors.

What if all furniture suddenly came to life?

Jubal

Then they'd demand seats in parliament.

Why doesn't this thread contain more questions regarding hero shrews?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

The Seamstress

I don't know! There absolutely should be more questions about them and their suspicious absence from Exilian threads. The government is probably covering something up.


Why are leprechauns all male redheads? You'd think there should be more diversity!