Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

Because it already has one! It's in the name! You can't get more tanned than a tangerine.

Why haven't humans developed a larger brain?

[Jubal]

The current one already overthinks too much.

Why do many days feel grey but very few days feel magenta?

[The Seamstress]

Because grey is the colour that's the least busy, so it always ends up getting the unpopular job of grey-ing people's days.

Why am I not normaler?

[Jubal]

Because you do not fit well on a bell-curve.

Why aren't bees real?

[The Seamstress]

Wait... they aren't real??

Who says bees aren't real? I want proof!!

[Jubal]

the bees told me

why don't others hear their song?

[The Seamstress]

There's no logic there. That's probably why they only sing to you. Logic is overrated. Cosmic bee wisdom.

Are there any cryptids native to Austria? I haven't seen one yet?

[Jubal]

If you can't see the cryptid, you might be the cryptid

Why hasn't adult life involved more quicksand? I'm pretty sure my childhood greatly over-prepared me for the concept of quicksand.

[The Seamstress]

The adult life quicksand is only metaphorical. No amount of childhood quicksand could have prepared anyone for that.

Why haven't insects taken over the world yet?

[Jubal]

They have so many other worlds to take over. We're on the list, we're just not that important yet.

Why doesn't the moon just curl up and rest? It goes around the earth so much, it must be tired.

[The Seamstress]

It is very tired, and, in fact, waiting for a coworker to show up and take over the next shift. What the moon doesn't know though is that said coworker has disappeared in a mysterious murder case somewhere in the Andromeda Galaxy about thirty thousand years ago.

Why did it take people so long to invent modern photography? They would've had all the necessary materials available since forever? I want medieval snapshots!

[Jubal]

Gnomes kept stealing the camera film until the industrial revolution when the gnomes found there was a lot more machinery to mess with and that distracted them long enough for cameras to be developed.

What would you do if a tiny mushroom turned up and demanded access to your common household utensils?

[The Seamstress]

Let it. Maybe it cleans my flat or cooks for me, that would be nice.

What needs to happen to start an ice cream revolution? Free ice cream for the people!

[Jubal]

It will happen when I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!


Are the roots of pulchritude truly the jewels of human imagination?

[The Seamstress]

No.

How did humans really invent the wheel?