Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[comrade_general]

I think it has something to do with the jet stream.

Is it possible for me to enter my own dreams and live in them?

[Caradìlis]

Yes, in a coma...

What is time?

[comrade_general]

4:50 PM

Should I have food for dinner?

[Jubal]

No. Food is a terrible dinner guest and has poor conversation skills.

Sleep. Why?

[comrade_general]

How now brown cow.

Is this the end my only friend?

[Jubal]

It may be one end. But it is not the only one.


Tell me, is it safe to dance?

[Tusky]

You can dance if you want to. You could leave your friends behind. But your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then let me tell you: they're no friends of mine!

How is it that so many crimes are solved based on DNA evidence. Don't we share 97% of our DNA with chimps? How do we know that chimps aren't going round committing all the crimes?

[comrade_general]

Pretty sure it's the bananas, don't we share a lot with them too?

Or is it a clever ruse and we are the chimps and they the humans? ?

[Tusky]

Yes I think you're right. All people are chimps.

Has anyone thought of trying to teach wasps to make Honey? They really need to clean their act up a bit.

[Jubal]

Someone thought of it once. We do not talk about the results. Even their name is now anathema.

Why do ducks not have fur?

[comrade_general]

They do. When they buy it they put it on their bill.

Why is France cheating at the soccer?

[Tusky]

They wanted to win at getting the most red cards. They are devastated to have failed.

If I picked everything up with a pencil would I fool people into thinking I was a television detective?

[Caradìlis]

No, just that you were very bad at using chopsticks.

Why is candlelight magical?

[Jubal]

Because the magic goat with the golden fleece did its rear-end business into the tallow. All the tallow, always.

What does paper do when it can't be paper?

[Tusky]

It usually becomes card, balustrades, spade handles and pocket tissues.

Wouldn't more efficient way to boil an egg for your breakfast be to have a little calor gas stove in your car, boil up some water, pop in the eggs and then drive away from your house at exactly 60mph. Then 3 minutes later you'll have perfectly cooked eggs, and you're already on your way to work / school!