Author Topic: King of the Hill  (Read 93713 times)

Tusky

  • Spatharios
    Senior Moderator
  • Posts: 2414
  • Karma: 1
    • View Profile
    • Tusky Games
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1005 on: September 07, 2019, 08:13:51 AM »
I tell a very very sad story that makes you cry so much that the flames are extinguished

My hill
Select AppleDanish From Pantry Where Count(MyDeliciousThings) < 1

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1006 on: September 07, 2019, 12:50:43 PM »
Eh, screw this, I'm going to Mali.

Mali has hills in it.

My hill!
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Tusky

  • Spatharios
    Senior Moderator
  • Posts: 2414
  • Karma: 1
    • View Profile
    • Tusky Games
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1007 on: September 07, 2019, 05:17:23 PM »
The hills in Mali are not the one under dispute here.

Still my hill.
Select AppleDanish From Pantry Where Count(MyDeliciousThings) < 1

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1008 on: September 07, 2019, 09:01:21 PM »
Objection! The location of the hill has not been specified. We, the plaintiffs, allege that this Malian hill is in fact "the hill" referred to by the defendant, and that the hill therefore belongs to its current occupier, who is a pangolin and may or may not be a trireme.

My hill.
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Glaurung

  • Sakellarios
    Financial Officer
  • Posts: 3497
  • Karma: 12
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1009 on: September 07, 2019, 10:02:14 PM »
M'lud, we assert that the plaintiff cannot possibly be the true owner of the hill, on the grounds that there are neither pangolins nor triremes in Mali, and therefore the hill cannot be occupied by one.

My hill!

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1010 on: September 08, 2019, 11:48:28 AM »
The defendant's case is factually incorrect - Mali is in fact on the edge of the range of the Giant and Tree pangolins, as noted in this CITES documentation: https://www.cites.org/sites/default/files/eng/cop/09/prop/E09-Prop-07_08_Manis.PDF

We therefore submit that these falsehood render the stated case void, and that the plaintiff should receive the due remedy of one (1) hill.

My hill :)
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Tusky

  • Spatharios
    Senior Moderator
  • Posts: 2414
  • Karma: 1
    • View Profile
    • Tusky Games
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1011 on: September 09, 2019, 07:51:51 PM »
I find it a dangerous precedent that you departed one disputed hill, found another in some country and declared it to be the correct hill (since none was specified before), based on your own assertion.

If this is what happened, then I counter that the first hill, occupied by me is the correct hill based on my own word, (and that of those that have squabbled over it for many years).

If we are not able to say that random different hills are the correctly disputed hill from now on, then the first should remain "the hill". I don't mind since I am atop it.

My hill

Select AppleDanish From Pantry Where Count(MyDeliciousThings) < 1

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1012 on: September 10, 2019, 12:32:58 PM »
Clearly the only solution is to merge all the hills everywhere into one super-hill.

Since I came up with the solution, I should be given custody thereover.

My hill!
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Glaurung

  • Sakellarios
    Financial Officer
  • Posts: 3497
  • Karma: 12
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1013 on: September 10, 2019, 07:14:34 PM »
In the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, all possible combinations of hills and owners exist... somewhere.

This hill is my hill!

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1014 on: September 10, 2019, 11:06:43 PM »
I like hills. I made sad eyes at people until they give me a hill.

my hill
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Tusky

  • Spatharios
    Senior Moderator
  • Posts: 2414
  • Karma: 1
    • View Profile
    • Tusky Games
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1015 on: September 14, 2019, 08:43:13 AM »
I recover from feeling sorry for Jubal, and hastily erect a bivouac atop the hill as a makeshift fortification against invaders.

My hill
Select AppleDanish From Pantry Where Count(MyDeliciousThings) < 1

Glaurung

  • Sakellarios
    Financial Officer
  • Posts: 3497
  • Karma: 12
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1016 on: September 14, 2019, 10:31:09 AM »
Your flimsy bivouac collapses, and your shivering troops flee the hill, searching for shelter.

My hill!

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1017 on: September 19, 2019, 12:29:15 PM »
Having not constructed any alternative fortification, yours do likewise.

My stout dwarf and pangolin legions march in and construct stone-lined fortifications and tunnels deep within the hill, creating a nigh impregnable fortress.

My hill!
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Tusky

  • Spatharios
    Senior Moderator
  • Posts: 2414
  • Karma: 1
    • View Profile
    • Tusky Games
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1018 on: September 24, 2019, 12:11:38 PM »
I employ the services of that horde of zombies that were outside the prison in Resident Evil: Afterlife, since they have excellent impregnable fortress pregnation skills. Once they have thwarted your defenses, I employ the services of a very high level cleric from D&D to cast turn undead on the horde - to avoid any unfortunate calamities involving eaten brains. Now the top of the hill is clear, and my bank account thoroughly drained from all of this employing I've been doing, I erect a defensive wigwam to maintain rulership over...

My hill.
Select AppleDanish From Pantry Where Count(MyDeliciousThings) < 1

Jubal

  • Megadux
    Executive Officer
  • Posts: 29170
  • Karma: 121
  • Awards Awarded for oustanding services to Exilian!
    • View Profile
    • Awards
Re: King of the Hill
« Reply #1019 on: September 29, 2019, 08:15:14 PM »
I persuade the authorities implement a land value tax, which you are unable to pay due to your drained bank account, forcing you to sell the hill to me to pay off your tax obligations.

My hill!
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...