Spoil a wish

[Jubal]

You have one more small bit of carrot cake to eat. It is infinitesemally small compared to the size of the universe. Unfortunately it is nonetheless larger than the solar system and destroys the entirety of the planets in an instant with its vast gravitational mass, rapidly collapsing into becoming a star as nuclear fusion begins at its carroty centre.

I wish I had a miniature pet glyptodon, no more than half a metre at the shoulder. It would be adorable.

[Tusky]

You have a miniature pet glyptodon, but the process of bringing one back from extinction requires expensive scientific methods (like those in the film: Jurassic Park). The vast sums of money you sink into the project drive you to ruin.

I wish that I remembered to brush my teeth this morning.

[Jubal]

The unvierse changes into a timeline in which you remembered to do it but somehow dropped your toothbrush in the loo, so despite remembering you didn't actually brush your teeth AND you need a new toothbrush.

I wish I had done more things with today.

[Tusky]

You do all of the things with today. You do all of the things that are possible in the universe. You now have literally no remaining things to do, so spent the rest of your days sat in a room staring at the wall.

We all know the top hat, but I sometimes wish that someone had invented a "bottom hat". No only would it make one's rump appear stylish - but would also prove invaluable during those inevitable toilet emergencies

[Ierne]

Bottom hats are a roaring success in the fashion world- and inevitably, become as absurd in shape as every other kind of hat. The increasingly bizzare and impractical nature of bottom hats leads to a terribly embarrassing incident at a united nations summit for a major world leader. It is, in fact, so embarrassing that his only way of creating a distraction is to declare war on every other nation on earth. World peace is shattered and the apocalypse comes early, all because you wanted there to be bottom hats.

I wish the cheese with holes in could taste exactly the same as it does now, but not have holes in

[Jubal]

The holes are all filled in with a clear substance that does not in any way affect the taste, but is also sadly toxic.

I wish my brain would focus

[Tusky]

Your brain is able to focus. It focuses in the sights of a gun owned by an assassin. He now has a clear shot and shoots you. In the brain.

I wish that wasps would remain as they are, except they can't sting people

[Jubal]

Your wish is granted. Then they sting you anyway, leading you to come to the terrible, world-shattering realisation that personhood is a socially constructed category that's in the eye of the beholder. To a wasp, none of us are people.

Bushbabies, maybe?

[Tusky]

Bushbabies appear. You find them impossibly cute, and are unable to do anything but look at them adoringly and weep.

I wish that I had posted this reply on a different forum thread.

[Jubal]

You have. Unfortunately, it's the Hockey World Cup thread from 2008 where it makes minimal to zero sense.

I wish people still used the Booze up threads and posted actual chat topics in the Boozer :/

[Tusky]

Your wish is granted. The spoiled-ness is that I did not do it without being prompted

I wish that every time I sent an email there is a little applause noise

[Ierne]

There is, but it is very sarcastic applause, which only makes you feel worse about your administrative abilities

I wish I could control what becomes cannon in the batman comics

[Jubal]

You can now make anything in the batman comics into a cannon if you want. Unfortunately this just over time ends up with them becoming comics about 15th century large bore firearms, which are not very exciting as even the characters who might have operated them have themselves turned into cannons.

I wish my stomach was not upset today.

[Ierne]

Tough luck - instead, it's going to be upset tomorrow...

I wish I could instantly create my favourite foods out of thin air whenever I wanted them

[Jubal]

You didn't specify how thin the air had to be, and it turns out that the air at ground level is too thick, so you get the power but can only use it at elevations above twelve thousand feet.

I wish my lower back didn't ache.