Spoil a wish

[Othko97]

You are suddenly ready for university. It turns out you were in fact already ready for university and didn't know it, so nothing happens of use whatsoever.

I wish it was quieter here.

[Jubal]

It becomes quieter here. Fortunately "here" is Exilian, and this forum has no sound functionality, so nothing of note occurs whatsoever.

I wish it was more active here.

[Othko97]

The servers can't handle the increase in activity, and there is no Exilian for anybody.

I wish it was quieter in the physical world

[Jubal]

The physical world becomes silent. Nothing is audible ever again. Musicians everywhere shrink into drink and poverty, as do actors. Sign language translators form a cabal and rise to world leadership and force everyone to wear silly party hats on Thursdays. Beethoven is the only composer whose music retains wide popularity.

This is all your fault.

I wish I had a house lined up for when I move to university.

[Othko97]

You get a house lined up, but it is literally a 1-dimensional line. This causes some issues for living there.

I wish I was more creative in spoiling wishes

[Jubal]

You get super creative and spend the rest of your life spoiling people's wishes on the internet. You die alone and hated.

I wish I was a better cook.

[Othko97]

You get so good at cooking you spend all your time cooking and never eat, eventually starving to death surrounded by your delicious creations.

I wish student accommodation was cheaper.

[Jubal]

Student accommodation becomes free! This means that all that is provided are cardboard boxes.

I wish accommodation was more conveniently placed.

[Othko97]

Your accommodation is now a cardboard box in whichever room you are in the next day.

I wish I had a smaller coffee jar or a longer spoon.

[Jubal]

You get a coffee jar that only fits one granule. It is a miracle of glassmaking and bloody useless. You also get a spoon so large you can't lift it. Hope you're happy

I wish I had remembered breakfast.

[Othko97]

You remember breakfast, but not today.

I wish had two eyes

Edit: I also wish I remembered to word.

[Jubal]

You have two eyes, the new one is however internal so you can constantly see your food being digested in your stomach.

I wish I had a llama.

[Othko97]

You get one, but llama feed is expensive and you need land, so you get into huge amounts of debt.

I wish I had a better sleeping pattern.

[Jubal]

You get a better sleeping pattern. However, better is parsed as "more aesthetically effective". You have to sleep in unusual yoga positions forever.

I wish I was a better guitarist.

[Othko97]

You become a better guitarist, but then get stuck on tour forever, never calling anywhere home again. Unless you're down for that.

I wish I was a better guitarist.