Spoil a wish

[Tusky]

You are able to remember all the stuff you need to buy, but it eclipses any other thing that you need to remember. Your other duties severely suffer.

I wish I had bought a nice warm blanket

[Jubal]

You had bought a nice warm blanket. It is so nice and warm that small animals start seeking your home out to hibernate in it and you spend the winter fending off sleepy hedgehogs from your door.

I wish my muscles relaxed more when I slept

[The Seamstress]

Your muscles relax so much while you sleep that you turn into goo, like Odo from DS9, only you don't know how to change back into a solid humanoid form so you're doomed to goo your way through life now.

I wish my lunch would be ready faster, I'm hungry.

[Jubal]

Your lunch is ready so fast that it breaks the laws of physics and everyone gets arrested.

I wish politics was less stressful

[The Seamstress]

Politics was less stressful. It isn't anymore.

I wish my brain didn't come up with so much anxious nonsense in my dreams.

[Jubal]

The nonsense is no longer anxious! The nonsense, having been relieved of its anxiety problems, is now feeling nicely refreshed and even more ready to make you anxious.

I wish my muscles didn't have so many tension problems.

[The Seamstress]

Your muscles don't have so many tension problems. They have other problems though, problems they don't tell you about. Mysteries no one will ever be able to solve.

I wish I had my own indoor swimming pool.

[Jubal]

You have a swimming pool! But you didn't ask for any more indoor space, so it takes up the whole of your home, which is deeply inconvenient for the buns and for electrical appliance usage.


I wish I felt more present in the world and less slightly spaced out and weird today.

[Son of the King]

You feel extremely present in the world, but this turns out to be exhausting.

I wish UK politics was less depressing.

[Jubal]

UK politics is less depressing, and just starts eliciting sheer mindless terror instead, which is more of a stimulant.

I wish I did not get anxious about anxiety problems, it's not a great cycle.

[The Seamstress]

You don't get anxious about anxiety problems, but anxiety problems are now the only thing you don't get anxious about, which is an even worse cycle.

I wish I knew what to do.

[Jubal]

You know what to do, but you lack the will to do it.

This is dramatically very satisfying as a scene, but unhelpful in getting anything done.

I wish I could take a few months off work.

[The Seamstress]

(Honestly I wish you could take a few months off work, too. Everyone should get a few months off work.)

You take a few months off work! You now have to do offwork, a curious form of work which no one really knows anything about, leaving you very confused.

I wish I had more spoons.

[Jubal]

a curious form of work which no one really knows anything about, leaving you very confused

Okay yes but how is that different to my normal work..?

Anyway, you have more spoons! Your home is full of teaspoons and you can't get into it. It is very expensive to even find anyone who thinks removing thousands of spoons from a home is a job they can do.

I wish it was easier to see my friends.

[Tusky]

You can now see your friends much more easily. In fact you can see them in your vision at all times. They are visible through walls and objects and all intervening terrain and your eyelids. As such they are in fact all you can see at all times. You have only some gaps in your vision for not-friends which you need to angle just right to see, in order tackle other day to day tasks and work. Sleep also becomes tricky.

I wish that I could see through walls.