Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Me.

If money is the root of all evil, what are the leaves?

[comrade_general]

Misdemeanors.

How much land do I need to plant sorghum?

[Jubal]

None, you can grow it in a pot.

Why is light so light?

[comrade_general]

Because it's bright.

Why is Joe Buck such a douche?

[Jubal]

Because Jane Doe left him for another deer.

Oh dear, dear, I hit a deer, dear, but why, dear, did I not pay so dear for the deer I nearly hit?

[comrade_general]

Because your bear drank all your beer.

If you get into a showdown with a rabbit is it a hare-y situation?

[Jubal]

No. Rabbits are not hares.

Why are there bricks above my head?

[comrade_general]

Because you're just another brick in the wall.

Why does it cry, Smeagol?

[Jubal]

Smeagol isn't here, Cowman. Smeagol's dead.


Who is the cowman now, man?

[comrade_general]

An udder.

Why is the temperature literally freezing?

[Caradìlis]

Because it's cold.

Why does there always have to be background noise on public transport?

[Tusky]

Because it's where the public sometimes are, and they can be a noisy bunch.

In Jack and the beanstalk, the giant says "fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of an English man". Can someone explain why the giant didn't say "fee fi fo fan"? It would have made a better rhyme and it's not like the giant needed to come up with a real word...

[Caradìlis]

He's a giant, not Shakespeare...

Is the sequel to "Of mice and men" "Of cats and women"?

[Jubal]

No, that's the prequel. The sequel is "Of beetles and babies".

Why can't I speak to ducks?

[Caradìlis]

You can, they just pretend not to hear you, because they are really rude...