Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Spoilers


Why am I not allowed space travel?

[Caradìlis]

You are. It's called public transport or walking...

Why doesn't the tea help?

[Tusky]

The tea can help with many things, such as a need for caffeine - but unfortunately it can't help with that.

Why was their no warning about the genuinely terrifying exilian logo change? I nearly soiled myself

[comrade_general]

We wanted you to soil yourself.

Is soil just recycled poo?

[Jubal]

I got sniped before I could post this reply to Tusky's but I'm going to leave it here anyway: there was a warning. It was written in prophecies thousands of years ago, lost, copied out by a sixteenth century scribe, sat in a university library for two more centuries, ended up in the hands of the British civil service, naturally got lost again, was marked down as having disappeared in the North Sea floods of 1953, was rediscovered by an archivist in the 1980s, was then quietly buried in a time capsule for inexplicable reasons involving a four year old's surprise birthday party, was uncovered from there by the Russian mafia, returned to the university, became the subject of a legal battle of disputed ownership, and is now in the basement of a large governmental building that is itself the subject of disputes as to which government it belongs to, locked in the toilet rooms, in a safe, in a cubicle with a sign saying "beware of the ravenous Bug-blatter beast of Traal" on the door.

And no, CG, poo is recycled soil.

Why pumpkins?

[comrade_general]

Mine is basically the tl;dr version of that lol

Because gourds.

Isn't corn the greatest thing in the universe?

[Caradìlis]

The children of the corn certainly seemed to think so...

Does Halloween hate me?

[Tusky]

No it sometimes might trick you - but then treat you.

Who are you gonna call?

[Caradìlis]

My parents usually...

Will I go to hell for this?

[Silver Wolf]

For this? Sure.
If you did that instead of this maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Always choose that instead of this.

Can tubeworms have fun?

[Jubal]

Of course, there's a song about it and everything:
They've never ever seen sunlight
And on the ocean floor tonight,
No spines, but still reach seven foot one
Tubeworms they wanna have fun
Tubeworms just wanna have fun

Why don't we all live near hydrothermic vents on the ocean floor?

[Caradìlis]

Cause the mermaids are really racist and don't want no humans...

Isn't Halloween just the best?

[Jubal]

No, it's several other things too.

Why aren't we all more focused on the problems caused by badly sanitised telephones?

[Caradìlis]

Because some people seem to think that acknowledging a problem is apparently enough to consider it dealt with...

Why do I have to be sick?

[Jubal]

Wasn't me! It's either the rising of the blood planet Garkharvaine, the dread spores of the mighty mushroom of mundifron, a curse from the lost religion of the bunneh, or it was CG's fault.

Why are you answering this question?