Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Tusky]

They are required to plunge into food unquestioningly. A thoughtful approach to mastication is rarely required by the "front line". I think it's robbed them of the inquisitive nature that the other teeth have and now lack the ability for thoughtful input on anything. The canines aren't far behind if you ask me.

Why does Bear Grylls start all of his programs on the side of the helicopter bellowing at the camera? If he sat inside he'd be safer, far more comfortable and wouldn't need to shout.

[Jubal]

Because he's seen what's inside the helicopter. He's seen what he wants to get away from. We do not talk about what is in the helicopter. We do not speak its name.

Is food fortunate?

[Tusky]

No, but Forts are foodtunate

If I can't stand the heat and am not in a kitchen, what should I do?

[Jubal]

Find the nearest kitchen and enter it in order that you can subsequently depart of course.

Why are the robins robbing?

[Tusky]

Because they are done rocking.

How have the creators of the new star trek series managed to make it simultaneously over the top and boring?

[Jubal]

Meth. At least once.

How much money do alien booze ups cost?

[Tusky]

A little less than a werewolf rave, but way more than a dinnerparty for ghosts

Please can I have a cup of tea?

[Jubal]

No. You are physically, psychologically, and morally incapable of such an action.

Where does the road end?

[Tusky]

Angers

Where does the road begin?

[Jubal]

Terrors

Why are the crisps gone?

[Tusky]

Unbeknownst to you, time was halted for a couple of days. I know you consider slightly stale crisps to be "gone", but they are still broadly nutritionally  identical, so you can still eat them. They just don't crunch. If the crunch is important to you then a flash grill for only a few minutes will restore them to their former glory.

Are the walkers sensations lime and coriander poppadom bites crisps?

[Jubal]

What do you mean "if" the crunch is important? Soggy crisps are heresy.

Also, no, they're not. They're perfectly respectable snackfood, but not crisps.

Giant turtle or tiny ice dwarf?

[Tusky]

This sounds like an it was a "what would you rather" question, so I will say.... Giant ice dwarf stood on turtles all the way down.

I have an idea for a sculpture. Not just any sculpture, though: one made completely out of air! The only problem is I'll need some sort of malleable rubber air container to shape it. Does anyone know of such a device?

[Jubal]

No. The knowledge was expunged after the revolution.

If there are Jotuns in Jotunheim, why isn't there Gin in Ginnheim?

[Tusky]

The trail of ruined mothers should speak for itself!

How many figs can I eat?