Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Tusky]

Show business, mostly.

Why couldn't a robot work out how to click a box on a website that says 'I am not a robot'?
I've seen robocop and that one is running around solving crimes...

[Jubal]

They know how. They choose not to. Why? Let your brain consider that in the fearful small hours of the night, friend.

When did scissors stop all being made of dragon scales?

[Caradìlis]

When the dragon's decided they didn't like it and started roasting people.

Why aren't lentils more like plums?

[Jubal]

Plum sized lentils made life difficult for lentil farmers.

Why aren't hedgehogs obliged to live in hedges?

[Tusky]

They would have to abandon the hedge funds for which they are responsible.

What is the world record for number of apples balanced on an upturned teacup?

[Jubal]

None. The martians are so much better at it than we are that nobody bothers trying for records on this planet any more.

Panthers - would they be objectively better in plate armour or full puffy-sleeved tudor finery?

[Tusky]

puffy-sleeved tudor plate armour.

Why don't you see purple dog mess around any more? You always used to, back in my day...

[Jubal]

I don't see it any more because I have developed a selective form of sight loss that means I don't see anything purple. Everyone else still sees it fine.

Ash, ash, why is all turned to ash?

[Ierne]

We did warn you not to play with matches.

Why don't more people collect antique fire extinguishers?

[Jubal]

A dragon decided to hoard them all.


Why don't we all just have a nice warm cup of banana raisins?

[Ierne]

My mum is allergic to bananas (that's true) and I have sworn to wipe out such abominations from the face of the earth (that isn't, but warm banana genuinely does sound like an abomination and I'm very worried now)

Why didn't you heed our warnings not to play with matches?

[Tusky]

I am a big fan of antiseptic creams and will take any excuse to apply them

There is a mind boggling array of foods that have wrappings that contain other things: rolls, subs, pittas, baguettes, sandwiches, wraps and so on. Can we all just agree that this too much and replace the wrappings with just one thing - like a pancake or something. Make a decision once and for all. That's all I'm asking.

[Jubal]

Three years later:
"BAGUETTE MEANS BAGUETTE".
"BOLLOCKS TO BAGUETTES!"
etc etc.

Why does time always pass? Why can't it slam into things instead of being all prissy and merely passing them?

[Ierne]

dear heavens, have you never had time rudely slam into you??? happens to me constantly. i swear it was 2012 last tuesday.

why does time always barge into me like that???

[Jubal]

You know what you did. Or at least, you will know. Or maybe you used to know. It's not really chronologically clear.

Why haven't flowers been appreciated more?