Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

They invented top hats because they had to put all the ear somewhere.

Why don't pangolins build themselves little helicopter backpacks to get around?

[The Seamstress]

Their eyesight is not very good, apparently, so helicopter backpacks would probably be a bad idea. They'd constantly bump into things while flying, and possibly get hurt. No one wants that.

Which ingredients would you have to collect in order to make a Ghoulishly-Giggling-Glow-and-Glitter Gratin?

[Jubal]

A philter of elemental doom, a vial of hideous laughter, plutonium, iron filings, bone shards, the death-rattle of a cobra, the sprinkled whispers of fatal death, and a bag of potatoes.

Why am I a thing?

[The Seamstress]

Because back in 1994 The Three Stars of Jubality aligned and bundled their Cosmic Powers.


What's the main advantage a guinea pig has over a capybara?

[Jubal]

Fashion sense.


Why do rats not do a rebrand?

[The Seamstress]

Because they somehow want to maintain a bit of notoriety, just in case.

How do we know the dinosaurs didn't fake the meteor to fool future humans and go underground to secretly control the planet?

[Jubal]

Because the T-Rex, being their king, would have had to carry the meteor, and its arms were too short.

Ducks. Why?

[The Seamstress]

Because.

What should be done to prepare for future invasions of mutated space cows?

[Jubal]

The breeding of a larger number of mutated earth cows. We have more grass here than in space, we can outdo them on the logistics.


What price the thorn upon a compass rose?

[The Seamstress]

199.99€, including VAT.


Why has a day only 24 hours instead of 34?

[Jubal]

It would have made writing a medieval book of hours too expensive for people to hire the monks as copyists.

Why can't I drive?

[The Seamstress]

Because the pedals are too small for hobbit feet.


If tiled floors could talk, and you'd ask them about their thoughts on cabbage, what would they say?

[Jubal]

Floor tiles consider cabbages to be deities. Nobody knows why.

Why don't we buy books as scrolls any more?

[The Seamstress]

Because the internet has ruined our scrolling skills.


Why are most ghosts from the early modern or modern time? Where are all the Neanderthal or the Ancient Greek or Mesopotamian ghosts, shouldn't they be haunting something or someone, too?

[Jubal]

They're all cosplaying as early modern ghosts because it feels very in vogue to them.


If the devil as a Lawful Evil figure does indeed, as per apocryphal knowledge, wear Prada, what do demons wear?