Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

What kind of pub the beer tap is in.


Where does one go for good crumpets these days?

[The Seamstress]

Crumpetonia, the secret city under the sea. But you can only get there if you know the password.

Why don't we just abolish time, wouldn't we all be happier?

[Jubal]

It'd make it a lot harder to write Doctor Who plots though!

How would you attempt to hug a ghost?

[The Seamstress]

It works like this:

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Do Jubals dream of electric pangolins?

[Jubal]

Yup.

Do Seamstresses dream of electric buns?

[The Seamstress]

Sometimes 

Why are clouds white and not green?

[Jubal]

Because at creation I got put in charge of chlorophyll not water vapour.

Why do we spend so much money on light rather than planting fluorescing fungi everywhere?

[The Seamstress]

Because with all those fungi around, we might be in danger of them forming one hive mind and overthrowing humanity, seizing power, and absorbing every living thing into their glowing death goo.

What if field hamsters could talk?

[Jubal]

Then we'd probably know more about the insides of graves and about hamster violence than we ever needed to.


Why doesn't music do more magic?

[The Seamstress]

It already does a lot of magic, that's hard work, cut it some slack!

What about my dinner let me fall asleep at around 10 pm and now be not asleep at 02:30 am?

[Jubal]

The mysterious vwoosh.


If you can wax lyrical, why can't you lightbulb lyrical? We don't use candles and wax much any more. Modernisation, people! Modernisation!

[The Seamstress]

We don't do that because lightbulbs are boring and not lyrical at all.

What is the nicest thing you could say to a mole?

[Jubal]

Oh thee of the most shovelful paws!


Why do people speak of a "veil" between this world and the next? A veil seems very flimsy for something that important.

[The Seamstress]

This veil isn't flimsy. It is woven on the cosmic looms of Atlantis by Arachne's ancient cyborg descendants.

What's the difference between séance and science?

[Jubal]

It is woven on the cosmic looms of Atlantis by Arachne's ancient cyborg descendants.

Solid cyberpunk concept, would read!

As for séance and science, there's not much more than an iota of difference really.

Why doesn't my desk have a tap so I can drink water without getting up?