Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Son of the King]

Because the man on the phone is giving the wrong number.

How long does tea take?

[Lady Grey]

Don't know, but it needs more milk.

Where are my owls?

[Son of the King]

In the owl drawer.

Where are your ducks?

[Lady Grey]

In the bath, a place they very much enjoy being

Can they see us from down there?

[Son of the King]

No, but we can see them from up here.

Where is everyone else?

[Lady Grey]

Probably in the pub at the end of day one.

What did they do with the wonderful trapeze?

[Son of the King]

Put it in the incident room.

Who else is in the incident room?

[Lady Grey]

Miss Scarlett. With a candlestick, no less.

Why am I hungry?

[Son of the King]

Because of pork.

Why am I tired?

[Lady Grey]

From watching sleep.

Why is there never ducks?

[Son of the King]

There is always ducks, ducks are eternal. There were ducks before there was time, and there will be ducks after time's end. It is always ducks. In the beginning it was a duck. At the end it will be a duck. Ducks are everything.

"How many ducks are there really?" "42"

Is anything not ducks?

[Lady Grey]

I don't think I'm a duck.

How did you avoid inevitable typos?

[Son of the King]

My fingers are ducks.

I think you are a goose. That is nearly a duck.

Are you a goose?

[Lady Grey]

For a second, but then the goose is me.

Why are the lights not sparkling?

[Son of the King]

Because they are ducks.

Why are they ducks?