Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Because The Law Of Teacups says so.

What is the real name of Armadillo Frank?

[Othko97]

Pangolin Fred.

What was the pseudonym used by Pangolin Frank?

[Jubal]

I could tell you, but then I'd have to mill you.

How do you fold a pholidota?

[Othko97]

You don't.

How can there be plugs?

[Jubal]

Because otherwise people's babies get lost down the plugholes.

Am I actually a moon beaver? How would I know?

[Othko97]

You are not. Moon beavers live on Mars, and you are clearly on Earth.

Are existential crises about your species ever justified?

[Jubal]

No, they are always left-aligned on the page.

Why are tank drivers not all given tankards?

[Othko97]

Tax reasons.

Why do we even need tank drivers if tanks have no wheels/tracks?

[Jubal]

Tanks reasons.

What are the tanks reasons?

[Othko97]

"Tanks reasons" refers to an obscure law dating to 1915 detailing the reasons for National Security on sensitive war projects. As the project of constructing armoured vehicles was of the uttermost secrecy, a law was created stating that any who discussed the vehicles should be shot and then court marshalled, in that order. Unfortunately it was forgotten about in all the hubbub, and it is still technically illegal to discuss tanks in public.

Why did I bother writing that?

[Jubal]

The power of salad onions compelled you.

Why do salad onions have more power than carrot cake?

[Othko97]

Because carrots don't belong in cake.

Who was first compelled to add carrots into cake?!

[Jubal]

A salad onion.

Are clangers really moomins who had their noses attacked by the vacuum cleaner from teletubbies, or are moomins really clangers who squashed their faces to emulate Bagpuss?

[Lady Grey]

Neither. Clangers and Moomins are distantly related creatures, and sometimes communicate with each other with the help of the Iron Chicken.


Why does nowhere sell socks with ducks on?

[Jubal]

Because everywhere, the ducks have those socks on.

Why isn't red paint blue?