Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Because YOU are RRS Sir David Attenborough.

Why aren't tissues knitted by fairies?

[Caradìlis]

Because they actually weave them...

Why did I wake up?

[Tusky]

It needed doing. "Up" had been asleep for far too long and if you hadn't have woken it then we would have only had down, left and right.


Why don't volcanoes have nice presents coming out of them, instead of lava.

[Caradìlis]

Because Hephaistos is angry with the world and keeps them all for himself...

Why is Easter only once a year?

[Tusky]

It's too explosive. The one time they tried to have it again on the 32nd of August, but it exploded and was never seen again.


Why do birds suddenly appear?

[comrade_general]

To counteract the effects of their slow disappearance.

How big around is the earth disk that we live on?

[Caradìlis]

1 square kilometer.

How am I still alive?

[Jubal]

Herbal tea, mostly.

Why is herbal tea so addictive?

[comrade_general]

There's a reason they call it "herbal".

When does wood expire?

[Caradìlis]

Tomorrow.

Where is life?

[Jubal]

Milton Keynes, mostly.

(Also, the answer to the wood expiry one is "When it's part of my decking and my foot goes through it." (Which reminds me, I need to email my landlord)


When does an explosion most resemble a wombat?

[comrade_general]

My dad and I are literally rebuilding his deck.

When Luke Skywalker bullseyes them in his T-16 back home because they're not much bigger than 2 meters.

Why does tomorrow never die?

[Caradìlis]

Because today can last forever...

What is soup?

[comrade_general]

Boiled football leather.

If you had twelve ducks in a row, when does the farmer bake his horse's cousin?

[Caradìlis]

At half past 10

Where has the time gone?