Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Only in theory but not in practice.

How do I write about monsters?

[Caradìlis]

Write about humans, same thing...

Should I procrastinate?

[comrade_general]

No you should aristocrastinate. It's more posh.

What's the best way to weasel out of something?

[Jubal]

Get a stoat, they're better at the job.

Who is the fake slim shady?

[comrade_general]

Where have all the flowers gone?

[Jubal]

Gone for soldiers, every one.

Will ye go, lassie, go?

[comrade_general]

Lassie got mange and joined the post office reserves.

Is Meg a gem because gem is Meg spelled backwards?

[Jubal]

No, Meg is a gem because Meg is made of a variety of the mineral corundum, consisting of aluminium oxide (α-Al2O3) with trace amounts of elements such as iron, titanium, chromium, copper, or magnesium.

Why can a fly fly, but a fish can't fish?

[Tusky]

No opposable thumbs

Has there ever been a cannon what was canon?

[Caradìlis]

Yeah, in Pirates of the Caribbean...

What constitutes food?

[Jubal]

A food constituting machine.

Why can't you make roads out of tissue paper?

[Caradìlis]

You can, but it takes up a lot of resources and is a waste of time...

What is sleep?

[Jubal]

Why, of all people, are you asking me?

Why do so many things waste time instead of wasting thyme?

[Tusky]

You wouldn't be asking that if you had ever seen my dad try to cook a casserole.

Zoo keeping, bee keeping...  book keeping? Bees and zoos I can understand why are books so unruly that it requires someone to keep them?

[Caradìlis]

You've obviously never been to the Restricted Section...

Why am I not allowed time travel?