King of the Hill

[Tusky]

I retrain my lava people to use carbon neutral flames.

My Hill

[Jubal]

I ban them for flaming with the MIGHTY BANHAMMER OF THOR.

My hill

[Tusky]

I get Greta on your case about using the MBoT when everybody knows it was made using non ethically sourced materials.

I retake the hill with Acid people.

My Hill

[Jubal]

I pour baking soda on the hill, neutralising your forces  

My hill!

[Tusky]

I regroup with some tornado people. Your powerful powders are powerless to stop them.

My Hill

[Jubal]

I get dwarves to build a shelter inside the hill, where the tornado cannot reach.

My hill!

[Tusky]

I infest the hill with turbo termites. They really hate dwarves.

My Hill.

[Jubal]

You come at ME? With TERMITES? In MY HOUSE?




MY HILL!

[Tusky]

I am afraid it was your house. I place a field filled with alluring looking termite mounds near the hill which draws away the Pangolins.

My Hill

[Jubal]

I create a PANGOLEM, a giant pangolin statue made of living clay which will not be distracted by the termites, and it conquers the hill.

My hill!

[Tusky]

I employ the band "a flock of seagulls" to train a flock of female seagulls to use anti aircraft and other ordinance. The seagulls are also beflocked with defensive fibres

The flock of seagull's flocked flock of seagull girls attacks with flak, and retake...

My hill

[Glaurung]

The seagulls roost on the hill, and revert to their natural behaviour, i.e. stealing your fish & chips and bombarding you with their own aerial ordnance. You flee from the hill, pursued by the ever-hungry gulls.

I move in to the unoccupied hill, and install colonies of red pandas and pangolins to demonstrate my peaceable intentions.

[Jubal]

I subvert my loyal pangolins as allies to my cause, and they come to you presenting a list of demands among which is that I be given the hill. You are forced to comply because otherwise they would look at you with very little sad faces and make you feel bad.

My hill!

[Glaurung]

The red pandas are not subverted, though, so they look at you (and the pangolins) with their little sad faces instead. You decide to relinquish the hill to me.

My hill!

[Jubal]

I introduce sousliks to join the looking-sad war, giving me two species to one in my favour.

My hill!