Spoil a wish

[comrade_general]

Everyone gives in and we end up paying a tax for the very air we breath for the rest of our lives but nothing actually changes.

I wish there were no politics.

[Caradìlis]

There are no more politics, because humans decided to kick diplomacy to the curb, which resulted in numerous unnecessary wars and the earth blowing up in the year 2713...

I wish I was better at arts and craft...

[comrade_general]

You become the best at arts and crafts, but it's the black arts and witchcraft that you do, and so people become scared of you and you're burned at the stake.

I wish my house was clean.

[Caradìlis]

(This thing is called "spoil a wish", not "make a wish come true", right? I made my peace with being burnt at the stake when I was about five or six years old... )

Your house is spotless, because the houseelves have finally had enough of the humans, revolted and kicked everyone out... Now there's no one left making a mess and they can dust in peace...

I wish I had gotten anything done today...

[Tusky]

You decide to get the things done on that day, but because it is in the past need a time machine.

You spend several decades perfecting a time machine and in your seventies manage to go back and persuade your younger self to get many things done. You have a wonderful and productive day.

You travel back to the future but realise that something you did lead to the eradication of mankind and spend the rest of your days attempting to restore normality.

I wish that it was more sunny today.

[Caradìlis]

Have you looked out the window? The sun is burning down as if wanting to murder me...

I wish my studies didn't make me want to shoot me atm...

[Jubal]

Your studies make you want to poison yourself instead. This does not improve things much.

I wish I didn't have a stressful meeting to go to.

[Caradìlis]

Your meeting is cancelled, because someone has started a war over Twitter and everyone needs to retreat to bunkers to save themselves.

I wish I had brought my dictionary...

[Tusky]

You brought your dictionary. However you did not specify what type of dictionary, or where you brought it. So you are permanently in possession of a dictionary to ensure that you ALWAYS brought it, and it is a dictionary of rude words, saucy terms and generally inappropriate things.
It means you aren't able to do anything like swimming without looking like a bit of a coin because you are carrying a book around. You also have to constantly explain that you are not a deviant in interviews and whenever you meet anyone new because of your odd choice in books.

I wish that cake and pastries were good for your health.

[Caradìlis]

Cake and pasties are good for your health, but they are made with less sugar, no butter and a number of dubious ingredients that you are not sure ought to be in a cake *cough* goutweed *cough*... They also now don't taste nearly as well as unhealthy cakes...

I wish I had less work to do...

[Jubal]

You have less work to do, but all the work you have to do is cleaning up horse dung forever.

I wish my brain came up with ideas better.

[Caradìlis]

Your brain comes up with a great load of brilliant ideas, but there is too many of them and you can't realise them all and the weight of all this potential finally crushes you...

I wish I wasn't this tired...

[Tusky]

You drink 100 cups of coffee in order to avoid your tiredness. You then spend the rest of the day on the toilet shaking before going to bed feeling terrible.

I wish I had a tiny helicopter that autonomously flew around getting stuff for me, like shopping and stuff.

[Caradìlis]

There is a tiny helicopter flying around getting you groceries and things, but it's a bit of an Errol and keeps flying into things, so you end up with cracked eggs, battered fruit and veg, a bunch of cracks in walls and windows and a very bruised face...

I wish I wasn't so lazy...

[Tusky]

You are filled with such a desire to not be lazy that you do as much as possible. This constant need to fill your time leads you to become seriously stressed. You start hitting the bottle, and become a complete recluse only eating tins of tuna.

I wish I had exactly one english pound more than I currently own.