Spoil a wish

[Tusky]

You are granted the apparatus to exterminate lots of humans and a war thirsty military to seek them out. You are Hitler.

I wish people were more forgiving of eachother

[Caradìlis]

People forgive eachother... in death...

I wish the world was not ruled by old men who have no interest inba future they won't suffer...

[Jubal]

The world is instead ruled by Azathoth, the mindless idiot god, who lives only to show you the dark meaninglessness of existence.

I wish I hadn't had nightmares and wasn't still shaky from them halfway through the day.

[Tusky]

Your nightmares are replaced by intensely mawkish dreams making you really hate the past, which makes your current work somewhat tedious.

I wish that once per hour I could turn a thimble full of air from anywhere into a single standard banknote which would appear in my wallet that was correct for the country I was in, and enough to at least purchase 2 pints of nice beer and a bag of nuts. For example a 20 pound note if I was in England, or a 20 Euro note if I was in France.

[Jubal]

The banknote appears in your wallet, but doesn't expand the space available, instead potentially cutting into or merging with whatever else is in there when it appears. You frequently end up with them stuck together, the wallet suffers serious internal damage, and coins keep getting cut in half. You lose more money from replacing wallets and mutated banknotes than you gain from your hourly banknote gain.

I wish someone would come and visit.

[Caradìlis]

People come and visit, and you get socially exhausted...

I wish this paper would write itself...

[Jubal]

The paper writes itself. It turns out that the paper has no interest in its own theoretical topic matter, goes off on a ten page diversion on the subject of early steam railways in Cumbria, and as a result you get a fail mark.

I wish I could remember how talking to people is supposed to work.

[Caradìlis]

(Seeing as I'm incapable of staying on topic myself, this doesn't sound too bad)

You remember. You also remember talking to people entails having to deal with idiots. You isolate yourself and forget how to communicate again...

I wish I had more time...

[Jubal]

You get more time. So much more time. All the time. You have enough time to see the world turned to ash, and be the last emaciated human living in a barren waste of nothing but dust, freed only at last when the sun finally breaks free and expands to engulf the earth itself. You have seen aeons, and they have been pain.

I wish I hadn't remembered how talking to people works.

[Caradìlis]

(Yay, I'm Me!!)

You forget, and instantly wish you could talk to people... You feel terribly lonely and depressed... Suddenly, suicide becomes a viable option...

I wish I could survive the world turning to ash, I'd be less worried about the future then...

[Jubal]

You gain the ability to survive the exact process of world turning to ash. Unfortunately you still can't survive the ensuing starvation and lack of water.

I wish I was a better person.

[Caradìlis]

Oh my sweet summer child, what do you know of evil? *laughs maniacally in the corner*... Okay... now that I have managed to stop laughing and breathe again, you are suddenly an even petter person... However, this means I am suddenly infinitely more evil and you are now responsible for all the murders I will have commited...

I wish I could take things seriously...

[Jubal]

You take everything seriously and life is now permanently boring.

I wish I could read twice as fast (and still comprehend everything fine).

[Tusky]

You can read twice as fast, but you need to do it by vigorously swinging your head from left to right which aside from looking absurd quickly gives you a sore neck

I wish that I knew how to speak Greek fluently

[Jubal]

You gain the ability to speak Greek fluently. Unfortunately it's an ancient Pontic dialect of Greek so nobody understands you.

I wish I could just regain health from potions like in an RPG.