Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Caradìlis]

No, just until football season is over...

What is a bed?

[comrade_general]

The beginning, the end, the middle.

Are leaves like hair for trees?

[Caradìlis]

No, they're toes....

What are clouds?

[comrade_general]

Giant vape trails designed to conceal faulty wiring in the ceiling.

Will you teach me the ways of the force?

[Caradìlis]

No, but come to the dark side, we have cookies...

Where am I?

[comrade_general]

Apparently you're on the dark side. Let's get those cookies.

Where do cookies come from?

[Tusky]

The exact centre of the internet.

How wide is a piece of string?

[comrade_general]

The same as the length of a piece of cheese.

How do you spell words?

[Tusky]

w - u - e - r - d - z

Why is the word piano so negative? Why can't it instead be a piayes

[Caradìlis]

Have you ever listened to Schumann?

Why does the sun exist?

[Jubal]

Because there was a gap in the market for terrible, terrible journalism.

Why aren't buildings made in prettier shapes?

[Caradìlis]

Have you been to central Vienna?!? They are. You're just not allowed to live in them...

Why does time pass so quickly?

[Jubal]

It's CG's fault.

Why do I need to buy food?

[Caradìlis]

Because stealing is wrong...

Why do I have to get up?

[Tusky]

It's a heartwarming story is why.

Why do volcanos have to be so negative? How can we turn them into volcayeses?