Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Caradìlis]

They aren't marionettes.

Why are the Gnolls winning?

[Jubal]

It's a two party system and they're better than the bullywugs.

Why isn't Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse helping me run this website?

[Tusky]

It is highly trained in many things, but effective forum running isn't one of them. Also it does not have access to appendages that are nimble enough to operate a computer.

Would a good new years eve gift for Eve be some new eaves, or to leave eve with eaves that greive her

[Jubal]

Ask Dominic Grieve, for Grieve's uneven eaves let him eavesdrop (with leave) on evil; even Eve grieves for the eaves of Grieve.

Why so sleepy?

[Caradìlis]

Someone put milk of the poppy in your tea and I'll state right now: It wasn't me.

Why is a whosit a whatsit in the wheresit?

[Jubal]

Because if it fits I sits.

Will the solder hold?

[Tusky]

Depends on if it has hands. Please let us know if the selder held!

At the cinema I very much enjoy watching the trailers, but I keep getting thrown out for bringing them in. Does anyone have any tips on how to sneak a 9x4 twin axle and a utility steel tipping trailer into the Brighton marina cineworld?

[Jubal]

9x4s won't work, it's 9x5s only at Brighton. You might get away with a 9x4 in Bournemouth, they're more chilled out over there.

What even is a pangolin?

[Caradìlis]

No idea, but I'm pretty sure that thing currently sitting in your chair qualifies...

Why is it Downunder, and not Upover?

[Tusky]

Because the English often like to think the world revolves around them

Batteries. Why?

[Jubal]

The evil plots of the duracell bunny, that's why.

Orthodox or Reformed bunnyism?

[Tusky]

Reformed bunnyism. I feel that it is important that both genders of bunny be allowed to sit together, and that ordination of female bunnies is allowed

What's all this nonsense about blue Monday? I had fish and chips and watched last action hero on sky. It was a great day!

[Caradìlis]

I know, red Sundays are so much better... And those people in Hollywood think they invented the purge... Peasants...

Why is mythology so complicated?

[Jubal]

Well, the Greeks say that the Gods willed it so, except in the cults of Dionysius where they believe it was created from a wine jar. Meanwhile an alternative reading suggests that mythological complexity was the creation of Theseus or possibly Ariadne, depending on how you interpret some of the mystical elements of the text. Oral retellings can also be found of the Norse approach, in which the complexity of mythology was the ultimate result of murdering a man who was made from the spit of the gods and turning his blood into honeyed alcohol. Of course, the Chinese approach is to say that the complexity of mythology is a sign that mankind is acting against the Mandate of Heaven, and every third village will have another ten different traditional gods who will clean it up again for you. And then there's the Native American ideas...

Why no tea?

[Glaurung]

Because the tea gods are offended by being omitted from the mythological description, and have withdrawn your tea supplies.

Why are deities so easily offended?