Author Topic: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer  (Read 176879 times)

Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1515 on: April 12, 2020, 08:49:19 PM »
It's an evolved defence against hobgoblins.

Why don't my plants talk back to me?
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Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1516 on: April 16, 2020, 09:53:48 AM »
They are talking to you but it is a very very quiet voice.

If bread always lands butter side down, why can't we wait until the bread has fallen on the floor, and then butter it?
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Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1517 on: April 16, 2020, 11:05:25 AM »
Because then you'd have to butter the underside and that would be really awkward, obviously.

Why are ducks?
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Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1518 on: April 27, 2020, 03:14:26 PM »
Because if there weren't then why are breadcrumbs? It just doesn't add up.

I need an extremely small pony for some administrative tasks. I'm talking less than a hand. Where could one procure such a beast in these unprecedented times?
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Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1519 on: April 27, 2020, 03:51:53 PM »
There's lots everywhere! Just make sure you have plenty of Italian lombard cream cheese, because in these unprecedented times you need to...

mascarpone.


(I'll get my coat).


What could happen if I renege on the above promise to get my coat?
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Carad├Člis

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1520 on: May 01, 2020, 01:35:31 PM »
The coat will be offended to not have been got and will walk away to somewhere where it is more appreciated.

Where?
"Those who don't beieve in magic will never find it." - Roald Dahl

Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1521 on: May 01, 2020, 05:21:25 PM »
DOWN.

In what way is a gutar unlike a mammoth?
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Ierne

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1522 on: May 02, 2020, 05:27:04 PM »
The guitar enjoyed the trombone's carefully prepared fruit salad, and therefore did not offend it the way the mammoth did

Why does the path of true love never run smooth?

Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1523 on: May 02, 2020, 05:36:42 PM »
It's all these GOD DAMN PORCUPIIIIIIIINES!


Why are the spikes of porcupines called quills and not, as they should appropriately be called, porcuspines?
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Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1524 on: July 27, 2020, 09:56:38 AM »
I thought they were called porkyspleens?

Instead of an expensive and time consuming trip Madam Tussauds, wouldn't it be much more impressive to just go and have your photo taken with Barack Obama, Prince William and Benedict Cumberbatch?
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Ierne

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1525 on: August 12, 2020, 11:53:12 PM »
Obviously, why has no one thought of this sooner??

What is the best metaphor to describe the nature of reality? I'm not sure a cat in a box quite covers it for me.

Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1526 on: August 14, 2020, 11:06:29 AM »
The nature of reality is the reality of nature. Which is technically a metaphor.

How do I protect myself from being eaten by wild savage metaphors?
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Ierne

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1527 on: August 21, 2020, 02:44:35 AM »
may i recommend our latest product, anti-wild metaphor repellent*, three quick sprays on your jacket and the metaphors won't come near! only 3.99 and available in all reputable pharmacies and trail shops!
*not to be confused with anti-wild meteor defence spray, which will render an attacking metaphor unconcious, but will have the same effect on you if you try and spray it on you jacket.

how can i make my fantasy stories simultaneously both highly original and exactly what the reader was hoping for???

Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1528 on: August 25, 2020, 11:43:25 AM »
Put a shrek in it

How is it nearly noon already?
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Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1529 on: August 25, 2020, 03:39:38 PM »
Because it's always nearly noon somewhere.

Cheese: yes or yes?
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