Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

*applauds* 


Moles aren't allowed to join or form unions. Their religion forbids it since The Great Mole Synod of 1604, where the majority of mole high priests declared unions to be foolish and detrimental to mole-rality. The reason has been lost to history, though research suggests that High Priest Moleus III. had held a grudge against High Priest Moleegula I. because the latter had eaten the former's prize-winning breeding earthworm. So when Moleegula proposed moles should join unions, Moleus' vote shattered the plan. No mole has dared objecting the conclusions of the 1604 synod to this day because The Great Mole Synod Reloaded, held in 1807, explicitly forbade any such efforts.


Where did the 10 days that were skipped to implement the Gregorian calendar in October 1582 really go?

[Jubal]

Narnia: the reason Narnia was able to go through so much time so fast compared to our own world is that it had stolen lots through a carefully planned set of calendar reforms across the multiverse.

Why are telephones so deeply feared?

[The Seamstress]

Because there usually are people at the other end of the line. You never know what they might be up to.


Why do bunnies have such floofy fur?

[Jubal]

Mostly due to their regular horrifying cosmic sacrifices to Zxhk'fla'ghthar, Archdemon of Fluff.

Who among is is really more akin to a printer than a human being?

[The Seamstress]

(*snorts with laughter* All hail Zxhk'fla'ghthar.)


Hm, that would be someone who refuses to do anything when they're low on one colour, has paper jams for no darn reason, makes noise, costs money, and sometimes won't connect to the computer and/or print what you want no matter what you do. Sounds a bit like toddlers (?).


Why are most dress forms only torsos without heads or limbs?

[Jubal]

Because the heads would be harder tor sew.

Why doesn't humidity hum a ditty more often? It's in the name!

[The Seamstress]

Because contrary to popular belief, their humour is dry.


What's the most useless material object humanity has ever created?

[Tusky]

Mirrors. They are useless to moles and earthworms that are unable to see their reflection

Should they encode the highway code with a better cipher? Because at the moment as far as I can tell it's just in English and very easy to crack

[StoryDragon]

Yes. As the current highway codes are indeed too easy to crack a better cipher should be used. And not based on English, then it would still be too easy! It should obviously not be easy, so all should be based on Old Irish, and the most complex cipher ever. We wouldn't want highway codes to be understood by anyone!

When will we bring the English language to extinction?

[Jubal]

When we get rid of all the other entries between "En.." and "Ex.." in the encyclopaedia.

Why don't fossils just unfossilise themselves again?

[The Seamstress]

Oh, they will! They will. Their time will come. (Ominous music starts playing)


How far away is "far away"?

[Jubal]

Over the hills, plus a bit, according to popular music.

What is the most curious way to awaken?

[The Seamstress]

With a headache and one additional limb, in the grass, next to an angry cow, in a vast plain desert landscape, after having been abducted and experimented on by aliens from Planet Äüö.


Who murdered the crows in "a murder of crows"?

[Jubal]

Rooks.


When will they stop printing money and start printing tueey? It's definitely not the first day of the week any more.

[The Seamstress]

Because after a small-scale trial with suney which wasn't very successful, further efforts replacing money have been postponed.


How do we know that there are unknown things when no one knows any unknown things?