Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Caradìlis]

Correct, I am the most heartless creature ever to walk the earth...

Why is the raven like a writing desk?

[Jubal]

Both are featured in an oft-repeated nonsense question.

Why is a crow like a kitchen table?

[Caradìlis]

Neither can sing...

Why is the tea always gone?

[comrade_general]

China hoards it.

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

[Caradìlis]

Of course, I am a witch after all...

Why did I have to grow up?

[comrade_general]

You didn't no one forced you to.

What color is red?

[Jubal]

*sung dramatically*
THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN!

Why aren't guitars made of cheese?

[Caradìlis]

Because no one likes string cheese...

Why are people?

[comrade_general]

They are unpeople from the city of country.

Are gummy bears/worms alive?

[Caradìlis]

Yes, you can hear them scream tiny squishy screams while biting their heads off...

Are stars real?

[comrade_general]

Stars are like trees.

Why do rivers smell?

[Jubal]

Because they cannot see.

Are walls in any way similar to Julius Caesar?

[comrade_general]

Only at night when the ducks cry about chocolate.

What is this sentence about?

[Jubal]

Fractals.

Why am I a trireme?

[comrade_general]

Because you are Boaty McBoatface.

Why am I a beef cow?