Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Potoot pootpoot potootle



Why can't we solve our energy crisis by getting fish from a fissure afficionado for efficient fission?

[The Seamstress]

Potoot pootpoot potootle

That is exactly how I imagined pangolins would talk. Potoot! 


Fish are not effishient enough to provide the world's population with energy, unfortunately.

What does Sauron do on weekends?

[Jubal]

Reads mostly. Hard to do much else when you're a big eye. 


What do ents do on weekends?

[The Seamstress]

Photosynthesis, and knitting.


How do cows calculate their ideal calorie intake?

[Jubal]

With a cowculator.


Why can't I go and flap around with the pigeons for a bit?

[The Seamstress]

The pigeons would accept you as one of their own, I'm sure. Hasdrubal has sung the Song of The Human to his fellow pigeons. So why not go and flap?


How much does a loaf of poison jalapenos cost in Fralaploola?

[Jubal]

In East Fralaploola, West Fralaploola, or Under-Fralaploola?

[The Seamstress]

Central Fralaploola?

[Jubal]

Four and sixpence.


Why is the dawn light not vermillion?

[The Seamstress]

The Universe doesn't like that colour, it's not very flattering.

Who is responsible for frogs?

[Jubal]

Euripides.


Why have the clocks not struck thirteen yet?

[The Seamstress]

Their time has not yet come.


What do humans and capybaras have in common?

[Jubal]

A love of tiramisu.


Why do I spend so much time regretting things?

[The Seamstress]

Because regrets feed off your soul so they keep you in their grasp, wanting to eat you and all. I'm sure there's a spell against that but you'd have to find a Bog Baba Yaga (a bog-dwelling species of Baba Yaga) because they're the only ones who know it. They might want to eat you too, though, so better be careful.


Has anyone ever recorded all the species and sub-species of Baba Yaga?

[Jubal]

Baba Yaga has. She keeps all the records in her chicken hut and keeps running away with them though.


Why don't we have a Baba Yaga smiley?